How can I deal with my mom’s mixed emotions with being in an assisted living home?
My mom has been in an assisted living for two weeks. She is 87 years old and couldn't live by herself any longer. She was confused at home on her own, didn't like anyone that we hired to take care of her either She suffers from mild to moderate dimentia. I have two other siblings but she's the closest to me. She's had her ups and downs. The facility is excellent, beautiful and has a very tight knit group of workers. They all know the residents names etc. They have 24 hour nursing on staff so she is well taken care of constantly.
When she is down, she calls me and demands that I come over and get her out of there. She says she wants to go home etc. When she is up she says that she'll get used to the place and it's not so bad.
They have exercise, bingo, outings, social hours etc. They even have Mass on the premises.
I've gotten to the point that I don't want to pick up the phone when she calls. When the phone rings and I see her number, I get a pain in my stomach. My husband told me that I'm making myself sick. I know that I made the best decision and picked a great place for her. So the pain in my stomach is not guilt, it's awareness that she's going to beat me up on the phone call.
The wellness director advised that she needs her space and I shouldn't go running over there every time she calls. She said I have to be strong since it's probably harder on me then on her. They told me that she's is fine and if there is any emergency, I'll hear from them. Can anyone share how they cope with these phone calls from their parents? I would greatly appreciate it.