Elderly Alcoholic Father - We have started to back off but what do we do now?
My Dad is living alone. He is an alcoholic, 77 yrs old, and has virtually quit eating. He's not that sick (the doctors say), but the alcohol is killing him. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week, and I was advised to back off doing so much for him (my husband and I were going over almost daily to do most everything for him). We have asked him not to drive any more also, because of his extreme weakness. Last week he got very angry with me and told us to "back off", so we did,and I didn't see him for a week.
Then yesterday he called and "needed" our help. The dog was out of food, he needed his meds, he "needed" his scotch and his car wouldn't start. We fixed his car for him a month ago and wished we hadn't because then he would not be able to drive - putting others at risk is my main concern.
We went over with the dog food, and his meds. but did NOT bring the Scotch. He was very, very angry. We also told him that we were not going to fix his car for him this time, because he is too weak to drive. Again, a great deal of anger. He told me I was "controlling his life" and I told him that I can't control him, but I do not have to supply him with his alcohol or enable him to drive and possibly kill someone. He said some horrible things to me,and we left.
My concern now is that he lives alone.
What do we do now? Any advice or input from anyone who has experienced something like this is appreciated. Thanks so much.