I live in Wisconsin and my father who just turned 100 lives in New York in a private home all alone. I speak with him many times a week. We came to visit via car to celebrate his 100th birthday and have stayed longer than we thought to take care of him. He is still driving! New York state issued him a license last year until 2017! But I have seen changes in him that really concern me and my husband. My father has been seeing a doctor for many years whose office is 45 minutes away. Dad wouldn't hear of switching to a closer doctor until I got a cousin to help persuade him as well. He finally agreed to switch and we took him to the new doctor in his own town.
This doctor listened to my concerns and made a referral to a neurologist for further evaluation. At the very least, I'm getting the ball rolling to have them give him another road test. Today my husband and I are touring assisted living facilities near his home.
Dad is angry with me for doing these things. He hasn't said it in these words - but he feels betrayed.
Because some days are better than others and he seems to be clearer some days, I find myself feeling guilty - Am I doing the right thing? I want to keep him and others safe. He wants me to leave him alone and allow him to continue to live alone, drive and exist how he has been doing for the 19 years since my mother died.
I am an only child and am relying on my husband to help me with this.
Am I doing the right thing? One minute I feel like I am responsible and another minute I feel like a heel for "betraying" my father.
Thanks for your support.