I care for my Mother and her hygiene is getting very poor. How do I get her to shower when she is being difficult?

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being demanding to my mom backfired and so did offering to help...I think she gets confused as to what she needs to do when a sponge bath is required. Just recently had mom move in so am still learning the ropes
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well I have some that I used on dad mother refuses to use anything that she remotely thinks was used on dad as she thinks thats what gave him his stroke he was much easier to care for than her and we don't have the issue of going out she never wats to go anywhere I suggested to her doc she was depressed since dad died and I am sure she is He prescribed something for her and she said I'm not depressed and through them away???
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There are waterless cleansers that professionals use, but anyone can buy at a medical supplie stores. There is a good one that pumps out as foam I have used when my mom needs to freshen up and won't take a bath. All it takes is a warm damp washcloth and the foam - - try it. It takes some of the pressure off the "bath issue". It also is good if there is an accident, so if you keep some in your bag when you go out it is easier to deal with in a public restroom.
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I had to set up a regular shower with a CNA to help mom with her showers. She tried to wash up at the sink the rest of the time, but it was causing her to lose her balance and fall. Then she started falling just walking around with her walker and ended up in the nursing home. Mom really wanted to take showers and baths, but her back hurt so bad and she got so tired out after taking showers that she did not want to do it. The CNA had a way of showering her that did not cause her pain and she did not have to stand up a lot, and I really appreciate the help that she gave us. It might cost you so money, but it is worth it to get her to shower at leats twice a week.
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well we went to the expense to put in a new user friendly bathroom for mom and I decorated it in her favorite color not mine and it made no difference she acts like she is a guest and has nothing to do with us unless she needs me to stop and pick something up for her ??? so be it
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I struggle with getting my mom to shower as well. If I suggest it, she either gets offended or gives a lame excuse as to why she won't get cleaned up. However, she will shower on the days she knows she has a doctors appointment. So I know she's aware enough to know the importance of cleanliness. Its just another one of the struggles here at the homestead that causes undue stress. Maybe I'll try the calendar idea and see if it works.
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My mother has not had a shower/bathe in over a year and a half she does however keep herself clean by "sponge bathing" so far it works but she is so stubborn she refuses to do anything or go anywhere unless its to the doctor or shopping. She will not go to church with me or any other place. She can do her own laundry and put an occassional dish in the dishwasher I did ask her to dust the house once a week but she only dusts her room she will not do anything that she doesn't want to do??
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When my Mom couldn't bathe herself anymore we went through some moments. I couldn't get her to shower, she was starting to get ripe and I was grossed out.
I went into her room where she was laying in bed and said, c'mon, let's take a shower. No, no, leave me alone. Sure you don't want a shower? she didn't want a shower so I got the Febreeze and gave her a light misting. After the initial OMG she thought it was funny and we both ended up laughing. the next day I went in and said, how about a shower and she actually popped up and we had a shower.
In the beginning of bathing her I would get into the shower with her and give her a good scrub. What I learned that if she felt better, she looked forward to it.
I installed a handheld shower massager and I work all of her sore spots while she's in the shower and then when she's out and clean and shiny I rub Aspercreme into her back.
the shower has become healing time and feel better time so she's all for it.
As far as her hair is concerned, I have the 'beauty salon' all set up in the bathroom. I've learned how to cut and style her hair and she likes it better than going out to a commercial place.
I know that when they're being mean to you it's hard. I've worked hard on my Mom so she would be easy to take care of so when the time comes for her to have to go to a facility (we are making those arrangements now) she will be used to others touching her and not freak out.

Good luck.
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I have my youngest s-i-l come over on Fridays and help give her a shower. If she can't make it, then either my 2nd oldest s-i-l or I help give her a shower. When I wake her up in the morning and tell her it's shower day, she tell me that she doesn't need a shower. Her reasoning is either she took one or she doesn't need one. I disagree with her and tell her that her daughter is on her way to help give her a shower. That seems to work.
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I tried making it a weekly thing but she weasels out of it - she is too tried, she'll do it tomorrow. I am having to get creative sometimes. On the other hand, she does wash at the sink so it doesn't get as bad as it could I guess.

PCVS
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