My mother ,at 96 ,goes to adult day care every week day. I have found another day care that has week end and Holiday care.. I am thinking of taking her to the one she has been attending on the week days and to the other one on Saturday and Sunday. I work part of the day on Saturdays and would like to attend Church with my family on Sundays. My husband works at night and when I leave on Saturday he is asleep ; this is like leaving her alone which is not a good or wise thing to do. I never know when the dementia will make her go outside and of course falling is always a possibility. They start a little later on Saturday and Sunday so she could sleep later than on the week days. Also she would have something to do and stimulation which she doesn't get here at home . She actually sleeps all day on the weekends from boredom. Doesn't watch TV or read. I just worry that I am over doing her expecting her to get up and go 7 days a week. This is cheaper than having someone come to our house and stay with her. Also I feel she will get more out of going to the day care. I don't want to abuse my mother . Thoughts anyone?
First, does your mother like going to the day center? Is it her "club" that she gets to enjoy, or is she unhappy to have to go there each day? Will she be confused with one more place to be each week, or will she enjoy the variety? Instead of having 3 "homes" during the week, is it time to consider the consistency of a long term care placement?
Could Mom go to church with you? Could you bring in someone just for the portion of Saturdays that you work? Does Mom have some assets or income that could pay for the in-home care?
Does she get more out of going to a day program? Is she at a point where stimulation is still good for her, or does she need some downtime where nothing is expected of her?
There are so many factors to conider here that I don't think an outsider can give you an answer. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, to keep her safe and, we hope, happy.
Good luck to you as you ponder this.
I took my late husband to daycare 5 days a week, driving over 40 miles each way, running myself ragged. But eventually came the day when I realized that while attempting to do the best I could do for him, I neglected myself. At which point I changed from husband's needs to my needs and interestingly, we both seemed to be happier. Might be that "if mom is happy, everybody is happy", because things worked out very nicely after that. We found support in places where we had not looked before.
Wishing you and your mom the very best.
Margarete