How do I convince my mom she doesn't need to go the bathroom every 15 minutes?
My mom has a muscular disorder similar to Lou Gherigs. She can only move her feet and hands and it's getting more and more difficult to transfer her without a lift. It takes a full half hour or more to get her settled in be. First the potty, then take off her outer clothes and bra but leave her slip on. It's pretty hard because she is stiff in the arms and has little trunk strength to keep her upright. Adjust her underwear, put the heated rice bag on her feet, fix her pillow, wait for her to tell you where else she's uncomfortable, finally get her settled in and she calls you back in ten min. because she has to go pee. It's so frustrating!! I put a pad on her and tell her to just dribble in that but she insists she has to go, so up we go back on the commode and she pees 2 drips and back down on the bed to adjust all over again. I understand that she has to have someone do everything for her cause she can't move but tonight I told her she has to wait 10 min to see if she really has to go pee. She got so upset at me and told me I was mean, etc. I explained that it wasn't her fault she had bladder spasms but she had to take pity on her caregivers ( my 6 family members and myself take turns caring for her, we do shifts). I told the night caregiver to only let her get up 4 times to pee and the rest of the time tell her to go in the pad. Is it cruel to not help her every time she says she has to pee at night? She gets so exhausted from not sleeping at night then the next day is ruined. I feel guilty being "mean" to her but it feels sometimes she has to go pee for something to do. She is never left alone, activities are available and family members always in and out visiting so she is not neglected and don't think she's doing this for attention. I'm feel dread when I hear her garbled voice say she has to pee or poop once more!