How do I stop my 84-year-old-mother from being scammed and used my a 53-year-old homeless man?


My mom own a rental house and let a 53 year old man move in because he was homeless. He has paid no money for this sleeping and she would not let me do a lease for him. Now he is driving her car and my deceased step father's truck. He also spends the night with her??? She has given him money for mowing the yard and now is giving him the power to take care of and collect rent from this rental house. She told my brothers and I to stay out of her business. We can't let this man keep doing this. What do we do? I have been in charge of paying her bills for four years or longer now she wants me to turn all my information over to him. I believe she has dementia. This is the second time in a year she has done this with a younger man. The last one took her for about three thousands dollers. Help, I need answers.

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I for sure know what you are going through. My mom would have done something similar if I hadn't accidentally caught it in the very beginning. Just a few months after she was widowed at 80 I found out that a guy that had done some handywork for them (before the death of her husband) had suddenly came by to give his condolences. Within a week I found out he was dropping by in the evenings to TALK to her. I am her POA and on her checking and savings but she could still withdraw money if she was encouraged and taken to the bank. Also her vehicle was still in her name at the time. ANYWAY, when I found out he was romancing her I immediately took her down and put her vehicle into my name and I went to the bank and took the majorirty of her money and started a separate savings account that still had her as the primary and me as the secondary but she didn't know about the account or what bank. I never told her I did this because I was trying to protect her from herself.
Sure enough before long my mom actually thought this guy that was 15 years younger than her wanted a relationship and companionship. She gave him some furniture and I think he had his eyes on her house and car but I managed to catch him at her house one day and indirectly let him know that I was the sole handler of her money and that it was out of mom's reach and the house was in my name (which wasn't really true). My mom told me that he said he didn't like me! LOL
Then mom went into the hospital for a knee replacement and he used that excuse to get away from her off since she couldn't control the things he wanted. That was when I became very happy that I had jumped the gun and taken control before she could shoot herself in the foot!
Sadly she was very vulnerable and there are people that will destroy you and not even look back, so be very vigilant and try to protect her from herself.
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We were able to 'scare off' the neighbors who Mom was paying big bucks to tend her yard by knocking on their door and telling then the cops would be called if they went to the house again. has anyone tried talking to this man? he may be a real scroundrel - but then he may not be and may willingly step away - especially if he fears the law may get involved.

If Mom has all her faculties, she can do whatever she pleases with her money. You say you suspect she has dementia? Would she be willing to see a doctor for a diagnosis? If not, would she be willing to allow you to give her one? The mini–mental state examination (MMSE) or Folstein test is a brief 30-point questionnaire test that is used to screen for cognitive impairment. It is commonly used in medicine to screen for dementia. You can find one of these online. (I still have the one I gave my Mom before her formal diagnosis).

If you do suspect dementia, you need to move quickly to protect your Mom and her assets. Call your county department of family and children's services and ask for their senior services department, or get the name of an elder law attorney and call him or her. There are multiple resources and links to resources on this site - look up top under Money and Legal.

Luck, dear. My Mom gave over $10,000 to a national political the year before her Alz diagnosis and we never even knew about it
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Are you her POA..??? Are you on the checking account??? I would think this is some form of elder Abuse, but someone with more information would have to answer that. Wow, how sad that people like this exist in our world.

Blessings, Bridget
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