My Father's application to a Veteran's Home has been accepted but he doesn't want to go. What do I do now?

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My father is 89. He's been living with me for 15 years. I am having difficulty meeting his increasing needs. I have POA and have been managing his affairs. I applied for him to a veterans home. The largest in the country. Hes been accepted and we have an appointment July 28 for assessment of care. Its a beautiful place. They dont call it a home but a campus. Its self-contained and town-like. Ammenties are incredible! Its a perfect opportunity for him to enjoy life in the golden years. I had to apply because the County APS said to put him in a home or they would. They are involved because I called them. A so called friend of my father's financially abused him taking him for thousands. APS then noticed that I work and my father is alone at home. They said it was not safe since his judgement is impaired and has alzheimers. They were going to send him to a residental care home. I have visitied a few and didnt like them. This VA campus is like a resort. Talking to my father this weekend with the help of my eldest brother, by phone conference. This will not be easy nor fun. My father has been against an idea like this for years. This VA campus is very hard to get into....I got him in and he could be admitted within 30 days if the assessment goes well. Please any words of wisdom? Tips? This is too good to pass up. Things in my life are getting more complicated and if my father gets sicker I will not be able to care for him. This VA campus has several levels of care so you go in under assisted or independent living and go to another level for more care. I need help to convince him its a good idea at this point in time.

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Great to hear that he is excited. I don't know where you are located but the veterans homes in Alabama have been great for my family. My father in law needed care first and that was when we first became aware of them. My father needed care a few years later. Here, these veterans are treated with such respect and care. Our experiences with "for profit" facilities has been much worse. Also, the people that work in these homes know how to relate to a bunch of older men. Most of the for profit facilities are filled with women - very few men. Many civic groups make a point of visiting and other people do too. It is a very different experience than what is experienced with other facilities. Normally the cost is also so low. Here, around $400 a month compared to $ 5,000 a month in a private pay facility.
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I am so glad for you! Thanks for the update.
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My husband and I talked to my father about the Veterans Home. I am pleased to report that there was no fight, no rejection. My father totally accepted the idea with no opposition. In fact he is so excited about the amenities and features of the home that he wants to pack and go NOW. I think what sold the idea is that its not really a home in the old sense of the word. He had ideas of the old nursing homes with hospital beds or sanitoriums from the movies. I read reviews to him and showed him pictures. Its more like a college campus with dorms and plenty of activity. He took to it right away. This was totally unexpected and relieving to know that he is willing to do this. I really thinks a start of his new life at 89. He will be alot healthier and happier. Now we are thinking of getting him a dorm footlocker...and things fill it...sending him cards every other day so he could get mail and perhaps a goody box with snacks by mail....its like sending our child off to college.
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wow! Sounds like an answer to many prayers! As I said before, remember it is a change for him and who likes change?! It's great that the VA has such a facility and you know your limitations. My question is which one is it?
My dad is also VA and it is getting close to where I may have to also do this. I look forward to your answer asap.
Joyce
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Can you involve someone from APS to help explain the facts of life?

I know this will be hard. You are doing the right thing. May that give you strength.
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