LindaLSmith Asked September 2009

My main problem is my emotional response to living with my mother and becoming her caregiver. It seems I'm frustrated ALL the time. How do I take better care of me?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
54

Answers

Show:
1 3 4 5
madieraskye Sep 2009
Some facilities offer respite care for a reasonable fee (think two week vacation!) which helps if you have to go out of town or need to prepare a loved one for additional care in the future.

Anger and frustration are normal, but our loved ones feel the same even when they can't express it, so even those emotions we are still sharing!

Getting other friends and family involved if possible also helps reassure the both of you and is only fair. I wish you all the best!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

linda09 Sep 2009
my dad was up allnight . gave him sleeping pill at 9 and hes still awake ! its 530 in the morning now .
i am so tired wish he would go to sleep . i would lay down and fall sleep and he hollars i gotta go pee . i have to get up an dhelp him to bathroom .
i cant wait for him to sleep so i can sleep ,
youre not the only one that is emotionaly drain . we all . welcome to the club . its like havin a newborn baby in the house wantin a bottle every 2 hrs .....
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

LaniLpo Sep 2009
I do feel for you. This feeling can emotionally drain a person.

I've been dealing with my mother for the last year. I have never felt so tired in my life.

I wish you all the best.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

superwoman Sep 2009
LOL yeah thinking about having a BIG "S" tattooed on my chest my pc crashed and I'm rebuiulding everythin sdo have to round up a picture won't have np "S" tho LOL
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Neon? Superwoman? I think the second name fits you!!!!!!!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

superwoman Sep 2009
Hi this is neonwocky at home please do not feel guilty for putting your mother in a nursing home. At this rate you will end up really sick beleive me. Thats what my therapist said and I beleive him. I will not feel guilty when ot comes time to move mine in. You and your husband deserve a happy life to . If this continues yu won't have much of a relationship left. It is time you put yourself in front of your mother. You have done your very best and you are not a failure just beccause you cannot care for her anymore. Much love and prayers for you
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Do you have senior citizen housing in your area? They usually are a reduced rate and are for seniors who do not have a great deal of assets. Also, contact your local Senior Services. Start with the phone book under community services or local government agencies. Also, contact your hospital. They have numbers for you to call. Also, your church may be able to guide you. Don't give up your job or the search. She is better where she is happy and cared for. Let your brothers take a turn. Wish mine would. Good Luck
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

rubymax Sep 2009
My mother has lived with my husband and I for 5 years now. I have 2 brothers that don't help much. She is in good health but is depressed because we live in the suburbs and she has no way to get around. We both work and she is lonely. I have been feeling so bad for the last 2 years that I was falling into a depression. I didn't want to leave her alone, so i left my job. The worst thing I could have ever done! The strain on my relationship with my husband is unbelievable. She has said she wanted to move back to the city, so i arranged for her to stay with my brother to be able to look for something in our home town.Closer to things she knows but she has been at my brothers for 2 weeks now and they have done nothing to help her settle. She gives me a guilt trip every time I talk to her! I am trying to find a place for her but I'm not sure if she wants to go now. I think she wants to come back here but I'm not sure if i can do it anymore (i am working again and the pressure seems too much. How do i tell her or what should i do?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

ddarkangel Sep 2009
My mom wants to stay in her home, she wont go to my home. So we all take turns, my kids and I and one of her close friends staying over nite and everyday so she can be at home. She does not have long, so we think, but it is hard and I hate being away from my kids every nite. The caretaker helps me so I can go home for at least half of the week. I love my mom and I want to support her to be in her home, she would never be happy in a nursing home. When she starts ordering us around like servants and gives us lists of things to do, and I have just come off of a 12 hr shift and she thinks I can just go to the store for "one more thing", I have to try and remind her that no I cannot do it all. I am not that patient some days but I try. I know I will be sad when she is gone but I also know I am giving her the best I can. I feel guilty sometimes because I know I will be relieved to get back to my life. I did not sign on for this but there is no one else to do it and no I would not abandon her. Its funny how her mother was in a nursing home for 20 years and that was ok with her but now its her turn and its different. I dont think I could ask this of my kids. My girls are amazing and they have inspired me thru this whole process. Mom had the nerve to make a nasty comment about one of my daughters and my daughter overheard her and she was heartbroken. She cried and cried. I sat Mom down and set her straight and let her know she was not allowed to hurt my kids especially since they were here because they wanted to be with her. I had a point but I think I forgot it now. oh well...tired I guess....Its such a mixture of feelings good and bad and we need to feel them all. lovingdaughter I am always encouraged by your posts. Thanx for being there...nite again.....^V^
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Mom is home with me too. Almost 4 years. It isn't easy, and yes, I complain, but if I didn't have her with me, she would have no money left, and we could not pick up the bill. It is not the best solution, but it is the only one. I feel that the health system has turned its back on us. Dad died 4 years ago. Miss him daily and yes, I was his little girl, still am. Night all.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

1 3 4 5
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Related
Articles

Related
Questions