dootiebooks Asked December 2009

How can I get my stubborn father to come on a trip with me?

Follow
Share
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
6

Answers

Show:
EXPERT Carol Bradley Bursack Dec 2009
Maybe he's uncomfortable in new surroundings. If he has any type of dementia, the confusion of new surroundings can cause anxiety.

If he is overly anxious, you could try talking about it in small bits instead of the whole picture. Maybe try some shorter trips to see how it goes.

Good luck. Much will depend on his mental state. What a younger person views as fun may no longer appeal to someone older.

Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Elizza Dec 2009
I think what Carol said is key: "What a younger person views as fun may no longer appeal to someone older." Somehow we younger people need to learn when that is the case and respect it. It is not always easy to discern.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Aleeta Dec 2009
-Is he anxious about bladder or bowel control?

-Would sitting for an extended period stiffen his joints or cramp his ability to stretch or move?

-Would the glare be uncomfortable for his eyes?

-Does he develop motion sickness?
If he tolerates some kind of mild sedation, your doctor or pharmacist might have some suggestions. We have sometimes used things such as ginger & wrist bands--( which offer some placebo effect, I think). There might be some concern about taking sedatives & flying, however (ala Ruth Bader Ginsberg).

-Could you travel by train instead of by car or plane?

-Check on accommodations for handicapped travelers during check-in, boarding, and while en route.

-Provide a rollator walker with a pull down seat if he has limited stamina.

-Secure handicapped accessible motel/hotel rooms, with walk-in or roll-in shower/safety rails, too.

We travel with an 86 year old with physical limitations, so all of the above adaptations are things we address regularly.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Eddie Dec 2009
Dootie:

You didn't give any details, but the phrase "long trip" even tired me out ... and I'm an athletic 50. If he goes, will there be a chance to take a load off every now and then or are you going to drag him around with you everywhere you go? Of all the things he enjoys, will the poor guy get to do any of them? Does he have a choice in the matter and opted not to go or are you force-feeding him this trip because you believe he might enjoy it? Think about it. How about hiring a sitter while you are away? If you do manage to take him with you, chances are he'll make a stop at a nearby hospital on the way back. Also, don't you think you might be the stubborn one?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

redmax2610 Dec 2009
I take care of my elderly father and I have not had a vacation in 8 yrs. I do not have the money to hire a sitter, nor family who will help. "force-feeding" him a trip? No, there is no other option but to take him if you want to get away, since you cannot leave him home alone or afford a sitter. However, it sounds like more work then it is worth to accomodate him on the trip and will stress you out..you will be too exhausted to have fun and so will he..best stay home and forgo the trip.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

lcs Dec 2009
redmax2610, I hope someone within this community can suggest a way for your father to be cared for that you can afford so that you can take a vacation if you want one. Dootiebooks, have you and your father ever taken a SHORT trip together? Was IT enjoyable for BOTH of you? You say your father is stubborn so with you having that feeling already towards him, a long trip doesn't sound to me like it would be that much fun for either of you. Is the trip a necessity?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Related
Articles

Related
Questions