Familygirl Asked August 2011

My sister kidnapped my dad, but I’m his POA. What rights do I have to take him back?

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After taking care of my dad for 13 years, my sister kidnapped him and will not let me see or speak to him. She took over his accounts that he had his and my name on. He gave me his house but now she is trying to evict me and turned off my utilities. I have POA and her name isn't on any of the accounts and she has not lifted a finger to help me this whole time, except having him over her house a few times this last year. Is there anything I can do?

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This is a question that needs more details. The bank has RULES for any account and who can sign, if it is set up with 1 account holder originally that person needs to be the signer. If an account is set up with 2 signers it has to be worded "signer1" {and} "signer #2" ..."signer1" {or} "signer #2"..."signer1" {and/or} "signer #2" These words {AND/OR,AND,OR} ARE SMALL WORDS WITH HUGE MEANING!!!! If you go to the bank and use the POA you sign as POA this is in place and either the account holder(s) or POA can sign if POA is approved by bank (unless the person is a resident of a facility & found legally incompitent... than they can no longer sign) As POA your responsability is to use funds "in the benefit of" this means only for the person who gave you that power (thier funds need to be correctly noted and logged efficiently). As far as SS income if it were set up to be directly deposited, into an account by the person recieving the payments, prior to needing a POA, and you use funds deposited by whatever means(SS,pension,etc.), from that account as the POA, you need to sign as POA and this gives you the right to use those funds "in the benefit of". If a change is needed as far as how payments are to be made or where to be deposited, only the SS recipient(not POA) can change this, or SS assigns a "Representative payee" with a Dr.'s approval for the need to do so. The caregiver is usually the one who is given the "Represenative payee" . In any case a person that has been granted "either" of these legaly abilities, needs to keep clear logged records, and whomever signs the checks or withdraws any funds other than "in the benefit of" are legaly responsable for any money in question and may be forced, at some point to repay any funds that are not accounted for as "in the benefit of". As POA you have the legal right to go to the bank and change an account holder OR what manner account is used. If SS checks have been deposited into this account and you need to change account specifics or get a totally different account # you need to set up any new arrangements with the SS dept.
As far as your sister kidnapping your father... I wish my sister would have gotten involved in Mom's care, she only listens when money is involved. She was abusing the funds for a short time, paying herself or using an aid for her weekends to be free of children or Mom , which would have been fine if she realized the money Mom had was very minimal and we needed to use money for a caregiver or aide to lengthen Mom's time to stay at home. All sis did during her caregiver time, was complain to me, about everythng that she couldn't handle, all that Mom was doing wrong, when in reality, Mom was doing these things because my Sis wasn't watching Mom when she was supposed to. So after I realized this was all a problem I took over and Sister was/is stil not helping she's just a thorn in my side. In everyones elses eyes, prior to Mom's dementia, I was the irresponsable one and sis was the well edjucated smart one(they forgot one thing, money means nothing to me but my Mom's life and happiness and safety and quality of life means everything to me). Well... Now Mom is doing excellent and I feel great about all my efforts and craziness for doing so, and careing responsability's.... but I LIVE with a clear conscious I am not so sure about my sister's conscious. I included her in every detail she's even on POA paper's the bigggest mistake (I requested that she be on the papers,I am kicking myself now). So my advice is TO.... do whatever it takes for your Dad's best daily quality of life! If you and your sister agree great if you can't... If your heart is in the right place, any task with Dad as your focus, will go smoothly. Taking care of a human life is the most important life lesson, if you stay focused on Dad Goals, although it may be difficult, it's not impossible.
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ROSEHOOKS47 Aug 2011
Go to your Banking Institution to advise them of the situation and take along your POA. There isnt nothing she should be able to do as long as you are truly the POA. Your Sister is being very insensitive where has she been all along? I can relate because I'm going through something similar right now. My father passed away 4 months ago, and I was his POA my brother went and paid off the Mortgage to claim ownership of My Father's home. I went to seek legal advice and was told that since my Brother isnt my Father's biological son then just consider a house now paid for because if we end up in Probate he will loose out all together.
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JudyC Aug 2011
next time check into DURABLE Power of Attorney. that will take care of issues should the Elder become incompetent and will go beyond a Power of Attorney. As it appears HE is gone and you can now take time for yourself.
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Fortress Aug 2011
Is/Was the POA in effect? or is your dad competent?
If your dad is competent the POA isnt in effect and he can change it.

If the POA is in effect then you are assigned by your dad to make his medical decisions when he is incompetent and you should do so.
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Familygirl Aug 2011
Yes, you can have your name on elder parent's account and receive Social Security benefits if you are named "payee" by Social Security office. SS office accepted psychiatrist letter with medical records/testing results included stating he is incompetent & unable to handle his own finances. POA was not acceptable.
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JudyC Aug 2011
Remember,,,,,,,,,have the person make you Payable Upon Death aka POD of the account. That way if the person dies you will be the beneficiary. and get a Doctor to write the Soc. Sec. stating they recommend you to be the Authorized Representative of the Check. Soc.Sec. will make an appointment with you. After acceptance, take that letter to the bank. NO ONE can withdrawl the money out but you. HOWEVER, the person who "takes" the elder can do the same and leave you with no rights.
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JudyC Aug 2011
POA is not GUARDIAN. If his Name is on the Account, He CAN have the account EMPTIED. being a POA does not make you Responsible. being a POA only gives you permission to "ACT" in his behalf as if you were him. ALSO having a POA can be "verbally" changed or 'they" / HE went to another attorney and changed it.. You will be lucky if you are sent a "change" order from the attorney. if the money in the bank was a Soc. Sec. Check , you should have been his Authorized Representative with that Paper attached to the bank account.... Soc. Sec. does NOT recognized POA. as Far as the House, You need to show Title. let him go. Move on with your life. It will take time for your wounds to heal.
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PatriciaAS Aug 2011
Familygirl: This topic of your Dad being kidnapped has really sparked a lot of comments today. We all have our "opinions" but I think the best thing for you would be to think throught all of the suggestions and do what you feel is best in your case. Do talk with professional people as they usually have the right answers to your questions. I also feel there has been some fingerpointing (accusations?) here and these persons think they have the right answers. Not if your not a professional who handles these things. Each case I have found is handled differently. So, I hope this fingerpointing stops as I feel this is not the way to go. Just state what has happened to your personally and let us find our own solutions from the professionals. It takes time and most of us humans when we have a problem want it solved "now." Just doesn't work that way as much as we would like it too. So, I hope that you sit down and weigh all the answers and take a deep breath and go from there. Stay calm and eventually it will all work out. I know it did for me and it took a year. It wasn't in my favor but I did accept it and I have gone on. Yes, sometimes things hurt but somehow it heals. On my first post tells my story. Good luck and blessings. Patricia
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ROXANNE Aug 2011
ITALIANBABS is incorrect....if you are the POA, BOTH names can be put on the checks and you can make it so (2) signatures are necessary to get money out. I was the POA and now I am the CONSERVATOR of ESTATE and PERSON. Been there and I had a sister JUST LIKE YOURS....I took the cops to the home when she came up to visit from Florida...the cops were like: "Is she on drugs?". Take a deep breath and you will get through this....go file a police report and get to the bank ASAP!
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ROXANNE Aug 2011
Call the POLICE and show them your POA paperwork, now.....also, go to the bank and show them as they can be liable. You must have gone to the bank already to get these accounts in your name. This is a crime~
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