Caregiver needs shoulder surgery. Where to put hubby?

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Hello, everyone. Ok. So this time it's about me. My shoulders are so riddled with arthritis that I can't lift my arms above my shoulders. The pain can keep me up all night. I've been advised by my doctor that the specialist will most likely say I need surgery. However, I am a full-time caregiver for my husband, who is unable to walk and needs help with everything but eating. I have 2 children who are local, but they have their own busy lives and no time to take care of Dad 24/7. Nor would I ask either my son or my daughter to perform hygiene tasks for their father. We cannot afford a home health aid at $15.00 per hour.


Hubby was recently released after 4 months is rehab and receives therapy and visiting nurse services. But the majority of the time it's all me.


What are my options as far as respite care? What will Medicare and his supplemental cover? He has to be "out of the house" or I will wind up doing his bidding, post-surgery or not. (I know this by experience when I had hip replacement). When I come home, I will not be able to turn him nor pull him up as I am doing now. He weighs 350 lbs. and doing this one handed is impossible. It looks like there are no options for me and I'll just have to suffer with it.


Thanks in advance.

Answers 1 to 3 of 3
I'm sorry to hear about your shoulder pain. I don't have arthritis, but, I had 2 frozen shoulders once and it was SOOOO painful. I could barely lift my arms.  I got injections and therapy, (very painful, but, effective). It cleared up. Whatever it turns out, I hope you have a good recovery. Surgery is no picnic, but, I have friends who have fared well.

What type of disability does your husband have? Does he receive disability benefits? Is he a one or two person assist to move? Does he have cognitive challenges or all physical? I'm trying to think of something. Maybe, others will chime in. It's good to plan for this early.

Top Answer
If you can maybe ask the kids to fund hired caregivers for several weeks? Or take from your savings?
Seriously, shoulder surgery is the most painful to recover from, nothing like a hip replacement. You won't be able to do it one armed. If you don't follow directions post op, including getting to out patient PT like 2-3 days after surgery for them to stretch your arm, you will take twice the time to heal. Are you having total shoulder replacement or arthroscopic? I had an arthroscopic rotator cuff repair and while it went pretty well, my surgeon stressed what my limitations were and that I needed to be dedicated to PT.
You will endanger the non surgical arm by overusing it and you will be no help to anyone.
On the other hand, my surgery was successful and I am hoping yours goes well too. 
Good luck.
Just wondering. What about finding a facility where husband can stay during your recovery and until it is completely better? Will you need to have both done back to back? I read online that it could take a year for total replacement and to get back full strength and motion. Could he stay in a facility for one year? That might be less costly than fulltime live-in caregivers though.

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