How do you take care of a loved one who had a stroke and is experiencing anxiety and dementia?

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My husband had a stroke on 7/4/2010. Since that time he has only been home 3 months not continuously. Since the stroke he has experienced high anxiety and the professionals refer to it as a disconnect but have left it untreated. He has been on depression medication for more than 30 years. Currently he is taking Cymbalta 60 mg. His neurologist did/has not addressed the anxiety issue. He was put on an alertness medication, Nuvigil but it caused more anxiety. I had to put him back in assisted living last week as I was unable to care for him even with caregivers because of the high anxiety. Today when I visited him, he did not know who I was until I had been with him for about 30 mins. and he was distracted and fixated on going to the car.

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I'm so sorry you're going through this...I don't know your husband's age, but please don't let them give him Ativan, which is for anxiety...this drug can be deadly or completely life-altering for elderly patients with dementia. I have personally been at the bad end of the stick with my Mother and an Aunt...there is actually a website for this very issue...I found it by googling Ativan and the elderly.
Best of luck to you...this is such a tough spot to be in.
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I really feel for you! Let us hope in that setting he will have an appropriate evaluation and treatment plan.

Why on earth would the PCP not agree to a psych eval? Sigh. It is often difficult to understand why medical professionals do what they do.
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I cannot get any answers from all of the professionals: neuro-psychologist/ psychiatrist, PCP, neurologist, etc. I have asked for a pscho eval and a P.E.T. scan for the 3rd time. He was in ER 2 weeks ago and all tests: EEG, EKG, CAT, Blood work, chest x-ray came back fine. The ER doc suggested a psych eval but PCP would not give it. When his anxiety got so bad that he was a danger to himself and I could not care for him even with CG, I was able to get him in assisted living for memory care/alzheimer's in hope that neuro-psychologist could get answers from psych eval.
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Have the doctors explained why they are not addressing the anxiety? Is it time to consult another specialist?
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