My mom lives with me and wants no contact with my sister. Can my sister come after me legally, if our mom refuses to see her?

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These family things are so messy, complicated, and frustrating. The short answer is NO your mother most certainly does not have to see your anyone if that is her wish. (Unless your sis have a legitimate reason for concern - ie: a preceived misuse of funds, endangerment, neglect, etc.) If not, I see no legal way that your sister can force herself on your mother.
That being said, it is also difficult asking someone to respect your wishes when they are used to doing as they darn well please.
First, make sure that your mother has no desire to see your sis. Next, politely inform sis of your mother's wishes...you do not need to go into lengthy reasons...that just fuels the fire. Better yet, you may want to put everything into a letter with a "signed receipt" and keep a copy.
If she still continues to harass your Mom and you feel strongly that she should be kept away, file a restraining order and then enforce it...hopefully, she will get the hint.
Sounds like your sis needs SOMETHING from your Mom or she would not be making a pest of herself.
If your motives are truly in the best interests of your Mom and you are protecting her from harm (mentally, physically, emotionally, or financially) be consistent and firm with your sis.
As if you do not have enough to do.....
Mom really wants nothing to do with her anymore. Sis and I don't talk at all either. Sis went to moms work the other day but mom went and hid in the bathroom. She was so worked up she was awake all night. I didn't know this until the next day when she looked tired and I asked if she was ok. Mom's brother says mom should call sis's kids because it makes me look bad like I'm holding her back from them. That is not the case at all. I ask mom all the time if she wants to talk to any of them and she tells me "no". She has also told my uncle she does not want to talk to them. It puts me in the middle and my uncle is afraid sister will come after me for this as well since she is trying to do everything in her power to take me down.
Your mom is not the primary problem for you to attend to here. Your own relationship with your sister is. Your relationship with your sister is affected by the other people in the family dynamic, but how you handle it is your responsibility and you get out of "the middle" by taking ownership of how you interact with her. You have nieces and nephews too, apparently, and you have choices to make about how you interact with them as well. Realize that doing "nothing" is effectively an action because it impacts the dynamic. Letting your mom and your uncle decide for you how to behave towards your sister and your other family members is a choice. You have an impact on whether or not somebody can "take you down." Good luck.
It is not illegal for an adult to not want to see another adult, regardless of blood relations. The only way your sister could use the law, is if she is wrongfully denied inheritance later - for instance, if your mom deemed something to her, but you hold it back. Also, if your mom is currently of sound mind, and you want to avoid a lawsuit later from your sister contesting your mom's Will, then you should make sure that your mom's will, if it currently does not include your sister, is certified somehow as being legitimate because your mom is currently of sound mind and body. Other than a Will dispute, your sister cannot sue you or demand that any adult private citizen interact with her.
My question is, Why doesn't she want to see your sister? Is your mom competent or does she have some stage of dementia that causes her to reject your sister, and has she ever been evaluated? Does your sister live nearby? Has she done something that upsets your mother? Do you encourage your mother to see your sister or are there negetive things being said so to discourage your mom from seeing your sister? In order to get the answer, the reason needs to be found why your mom doesn't want to see your sister. Family shutting out a member is very sad. Try to get love instilled in the family thinking; forgiveness plays a big part too if there is a matter that needs to be forgiven.
If mom doesn't want anything to do with her daughter she is under no legal or emotional obligation to do so. On the other hand you should not be in the middle. I don't know why you no longer talk with your sis but if it's because of loyalty to mom, then maybe it's time for you to sit down and rethink this over. Excluding the grandkids is unfair to them (unless they did something wrong or are verbally and physically abusive). The sins of the parents should not be passed on to the children- but they are. Is it possible to invite just one of your neices/nephews over at a time to see you or for you to go out with them? Miscommunication is the cause of so many family problems. Maybe mom would benefit from talking to someone out side of the family to find a way to handle this.
Also, Italianbabs, it is no one's business why you do not interact with your sister or anyone else; this issue is about your mom and her wishes being respected.
If you mom doesn't want to see your sister. Than there is nothing your sister can do. Its at your moms wishes she doesn't want her around. I have 2 siblings that washed their hands of my mother over a year ago. My mother has endured all kinds of trouble with them and its the best that they have chosen to stay away. and as well with there children, my siblings have allowed their children to disrespect their grandmother. I used to think that the grandkids should come around. However, the only way I could get them here was to pay them... and when they were here all they did was ask for money and gifts. Which really upset my mother. when the hand outs stopped coming so did they!!!
Everything will be okay, just stick to your guns. Try to support your mother in what she wants.
My mother has several reasons why she does not want to see my sister. My sister was POA and has taken all my moms money out of her accounts and has basically kept my mother out of the loop and only gives her an allowance. My mother has no access to her money as my sister is saying she is doing what is in my mother's best interest. My sister is claiming mom is incompetent but sister works for the doctor and had doctor sign a note. Sister e-mailed me at the end of October and said mom has beginning stages of dementia but was fine to work and she is doing remarkably well per the doctor. So mom has some memory loss but not enough to be declared incompetent. Mom changed POA and will in March. She wants to know where all her money is. Sister will not turn it over to my uncle who is new POA. 2nd reason is sister's husband filed charges against my husband claiming simple assault and harrassment. Mom lives in my home on the 2nd floor. Sister and family were told to stay out of our home due to some accusations and brother in law walking in our home where our 16 year old daughter's bedroom was pretty often. Brother in law tried to push his way into our home and my husband shoved him out the door twice. Husband never left inside the home until after brother in law lost his balance and fell down 3 steps. Mom witnessed everything and is very bothered they pressed criminal charges against my husband as it is all a lie. Mom adores my husband because he takes care of her. 3rd reason, sister is coming after me for money my mother let us use from her accounts while my husband was ill for a year and a half. Mom lives in our home and we only were getting 60% wages and had already lost about 15,000 year when hubby lost his job and had to take one at a substantially lower rate. Sister is greedy and only cares about the money and not her mother. Sister needs to forgive about us using the money and realize that she is hurting her mother terribly. Mom and sister were very close and she has really hurt my mother. As far as I am concerened, my sister can have all the money my mother has when she passes. My goal to to make the last years of my mother's life happy and if people continue to want to harrass her and upset her, then they don't have a place in her life anymore. My family has to take care of her when other's upset her.
Your last few sentences is right on!!!! Thats how I look at things. All the time when my siblings upset my mother. I had to clean up the mess so to say... My siblings are all about the money too. My brother scamed so much money from her. Actually, he was using a credit card in my fathers name(who has been deceased for 5 yrs. The last account I had was that the balance was over $17,000. I have tried to fight with Capital One that fraud is going on. They don't want to deal with it. Cause they are wrong for letting my brother do this fraud activity and not stopping it. I could go on for days about crap that has happened.
I am here for my moms best interest. I might not be perfect but my husband and I are doing our best. When I had to stop working to look after mom 24/7 we took a sizeable income loss as well. So mom does help pay the bills and groceries etc... Why not.. we all live together.
Don't worry about the incompentent thing. My mom is in later stages of dementia and ALL of her doctors say she is NOT incompentent. The whole incompentent thing is a big legal mess from what I understand. Once a person is found incompetent then it has to go to court for an court appointed Guardian. Which in my POA papers mom has stated that if she were deemed incompentent. She requested that I was appointed her legal guardian. So have your uncle check his POA papers and see if there is a mention of that in there.(if not, get it in there)
I truly feel for your situation. I know for myself there were days that I just wanted to wave a white flag and say "I give up, you win". But then I would think what would happen to mom. My siblings I know for a fact would throw her in a home and forget about her. and have a hay-day with whats left of her assests.
My hubby and I have stuck to our guns, and after a year of hell, my siblings just stopped harassing us. My siblings tried so hard to get me in trouble with protected services for the eldery, siblings even as much as would have people stop along the street outside of the house and take pictures and videos of us outside. My husband lost it when these people started to do this when the kids were playing outside. For a year, we felt like prisoners inside our home. I know that its not over. But for now we just enjoy the peace.
I wish I had a magic wand to help fix our problems. Its helped so much being here and reading other caregivers who have similar situations. It has helped me realize that I am not alone.

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