How can I speak to my mother rationally without her thinking I am telling her what to do and that I don't care?
My mother is quite active for 80yrs, has a loving husband she has been married to for a few years. My mother seems to overplay sickness and when I ask her questions about what the doctor has prescribed or that it couldn't be a certain thing she hangs up on me. She calls my sister and tells her that she is never going to phone me again when she is not well. I only ask her to listen to what the doctors say but she seems to overplay the situation. Not sure if it is attention she is seeking or she just wants to vent her own frustrations. This has been going on for a long time with me in particular as I guess being the eldest I am always the brunt of her anger. If I am not at home when she calls she leaves very nasty messages. I work full time and and am home most evenings. When I phone her back she always says " I have tried ringing you and you are never around"! Her husband is very attentive and she has a lot of friends but even gets angry with them at times. I just find it difficult to cope with the way she speaks about me to my sister and she has done the same when my sister has questioned her as well. She seems to play one off the other. Any suggestions on how to speak to her rationally without her thinking I am telling her what to do and that I don't care.