WWIIgrandkid Asked July 2011

My grandfather has a girlfriend at his assisted living facility. I just found out she is cheating on him, what should I do?

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I am a companion to my grandfather in an assisted living facility. He has dementia but is otherwise pretty healthy for 93. He has a girlfriend at the facility - they've been together for four years (just hugs and kisses). I recently found out from a PCA that she is having intercourse with another resident when my grandfather is not around. What am I supposed to do? Please help with any suggestions...I hate for my grandfather to be put in such a shameful situation.

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linda09 Jul 2011
id stay out of it too . maybe she doesnt realizes that shes doing that . or could be someone there wanting to start some drama s .
if i was in that place i prob be havin fun too :-)
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bobbie321 Jul 2011
Maybe they all have Dementia?
This really puts a whole new angle on the whole thing for me.
WWII, don't worry. I understand that it's hard to be nice to her but hey, if she has Dementia too there's no reasoning with anyone anyway so let it go, spare Grandpa and spare yourself. You are a good grandkid and I know that I would be proud of you for caring like you do. You are an angel.
lovbob
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NancyH Jul 2011
What a weird thing to have to talk to your grandparent about!! Oh well...You know WWII if you know for sure your grandpa isn't having sex with his girlfriend, then it's not nearly as bad as you might think. It seems to me, that only when there's physical intimacy do people get hurt badly when it comes to cheating. Now I realize your grandpa thinks highly of her and has spent the last 4 years with her, but he doesn't have the same emotions invested in the relationship when you subtract sex. So take him aside and tell him you don't want him to get hurt, but this is what you've heard. BUT if he's been fibbing to his granddaughter about having sex with someone who's NOT her grandma, then you might get a surprise.
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BridgetW Jul 2011
I thing I would stay out of it like the others say, but someday have a discussion with the girlfriend. I am shocked, I personally figured one would grow out of being a 'tramp' at a certian age?? LOL Guess it takes all kinds. Make sure the girlfriend is not on any of your fathers finicial documents if she is thinking she is in the for money and may have men all over the building. Sad to have to think like that, but after hearing she is having and affair on him, I guess you have to think outside the box.
Blessings
Bridget
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I would pull the gf aside and have a heart to heart talk with her tell her u r worried about your grandfather and that u know about her sexual relationships with this other man...no telling what she is telling the other guy...if he even knows about your grandfather and her.....u dont know that your father is having sexual relations with her if he is he could catch some std no telling how many others she is having relations with.....:(
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jeannegibbs Jul 2011
You've done hard things before, and you'll do hard things again. Do this one for your grandfather. Stay out of itl
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I am not going to tell him - it would not do him any good. I am having a hard time treating her kindly knowing what she doing behind his back. My grandpa is just happy to have someone to love and I wouldn't take that away from him. It is so hard not to say something to her...
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jeannegibbs Jul 2011
Your grandfather isn't in a shameful position. Maybe his girlfriend is, but I don't know what committments were made. What would be gained by bringing this to your grandfather's attention?
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tigerlily Jul 2011
I personally would probably leave it alone. If he is 93 and happy I wouldn't rock the boat. Chances are that he won't believe you anyway.
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