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Good for you Reba!!!! You tell em........ When God is ready he will call your husband home, and it's apparent that time isn't now. When my dad passed away in 2008, hospice was there and they were wonderful......how terrible for them to tell you that.
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Jam, You sound like a loving person too. Thanks
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The first time I called Hospice they said the doctors could decide to take him off of all his medications and I said "that would be murder" and I told them I can't agree to that. When did they become God. If they are in pain give them medication.
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My husband is so easy going I don't have to worry about him being stressed. He jokes and is funny. We can't always understand him but he is happy. He sings songs and talks but we don't know what he is saying, only part.

He fell and broke his hip like I said but when he opened his eyes, it was like he came back from the dead. We are so thankful for this time we have with him. The doctor said he wanted to put him with Hospice for end of life. I said no I am taking him home and here he will stay. The doctor said he could live a day, a week or a few months. I know he will not be here long but he needs to be home, where he is safe. Homes are not safe because they don't have enough help. He was dehydrated when he left the home. He looked depressed when he was there. The fall in a way was a blessing because he is awake now.
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Reba, you are the one taking care of your husband which makes you the authority of his day to day health.....You see the changes, you know what works and what doesn't. I hope his doctor is working with you in that manner and not telling you what you should or should not do. My personal physician is also my MIL's and we sit and brain storm together. He is a wonderful man and physician and I am thankful I found him. He will sit down and talk with me and when I tell him things I have seen or feel that should be done with mil, he says "what do you think about trying this or whatever it may be". I feel more involved that way. Even though you are taking care of your hubby and love him dearly, which he knows, do you think he feels more stress because your life together is not what it used to be? 55 yrs together is wonderful........I can only hope to follow that example........
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Jam,

I didn't ask the doctor to take him off. I told him what happened and he agreed with me. How can they know it works anyway. How fast would one person go down hill as to another may go very slow. So does this drug do anything at all or is it the drug companies making money. If he changes from what he is now I will ask them to change his medication for his blood pressure. He wasn't on it in the hospital and that happens a lot with people. For some reason they seem to do better in there than at home. I guess it is because they have no worries in there.

It is in the bible that if you don't take care of your family, you are worse than an unbeliever. But I do love him, we have been married for over 55 years.

Thanks for all of your input
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You could be entirely correct about your husband's BP medication. My hubby says the medications are made, put on the market, but no one REALLY knows exactly how they work and what effects they have. And let's face it, we humans are not all alike so different meds work in different ways. MIL doc told me to increase her zyprexa to twice a day since she was always so argumentative, non-cooperative, and on and on. Did that and she is so much more mellow but reading the side effects yesterday and it's like wow didn't know this...........dehydration was the main side-effect, plus others. Now it's a toss-up....should I try and deal with the possible side-effects or let her go back to driving me crazy? She might never develop the se, but she could push me over the edge w/o the med....:). I think that is one of the se of Aricept and if he is better without it then by all means don't give it to him, but make sure his doc knows that. One of the biggest problems with over medicating is that when the elderly does not have anyone to oversee their daily care, they see the doctor for whatever reason, the doc gives them medicine, but they don't tell the patient to stop taking something else. The elderly don't know to ask if they should stop......they just keep taking EVERYTHING given to them. Used to have a female patient who kept a large candy dish on her dining table.....she would just empty her medication into the dish and take out what she wanted to take. Blew me away when I saw it! It sounds like your hubby is improving and I hope it continues that way.....you sound like a caring, loving person.
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He is 77 and I am greatful to have him for a while or a long time. No they don't know what he has and I am not upset that they don't know but only because they think they know it all.
I know it is guess work.

When he came through the hip operation and saw us he was like he is now. They put him on Carbidopa Levodopa. I guess that is to replace the dopamine. I still wonder if I should give it to him. If a person doesn't need it, maybe it could do more harm.
I did a lot of searching on AD when they said he had it. He was on a medication called Aricept. He was with out it for a week and he started going to the bathroom on his own so I never gave it to him again. Doctors over medicate and no one can prove it. I have often wondered if it was his blood pressure medication that could rob him of his memory.
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Hubby states he is seeing an increase in physician notes from patients coming in from nursing homes that state "Parkinson-like" symptoms. Doesn't necessarily mean that they have Parkinson's. Parkinson's is diagnosed by decreased dopamine production in the brain. There is really no way to diagnose Alz and the docs really do have to rely on what family members tell them. Too often the elderly, especially those with dementia, cannot give a factual account of what is going on. Their concept of time is gone, they don't feel cold and hot like they used to. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have picked up ill patients over the past 25 yrs and asked the whole gamut of questions to give me an idea of what I'm dealing with and have these patients give me negative answers, only to stand there in the er room while they are asked those same questions by the doc and they answer in the affirmative......you have no idea how stupid that makes you feel! Reba I am glad you still have your husband with you and it appears he is doing better and I pray for his continued improvement...........
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Jam, I understand they don't know at times but they should just say so like your husband. I want to tell you my husband sat and didn't nothing for months and said very little. I started to say and forgot as it was time to give him his medication.

I believe my prayer was answered and I want to give God the credit. I prayed before his operation - God give him back to me or take him home. Well God knew I didn't want him back the way he was but would take him back the way he is now. God did that for our family and all I can say now is, THANK YOU FATHER FOR GIVING HIM BACK TO US EVEN IF IT IS JUST FOR A WHILE.
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Unfortunately there are no definitive answers for a lot of the symptoms we see with our elderly loved ones. Sure would make it easier wouldn't it if we could just walk into the doc's office and have them tell us exactly what's going on. The other night I looked at my husband and asked him if his mother has Alz or dementia and he said "yes". Well, alrighty then! There is no "test" that says Alz and/or dementia. The brain is aging, the cells are misfiring and dying. I have more respect for my husband when he tells me he examined a patient and says "I don't know" whats wrong. A lot of docs know people want an answer and there are times when they just don't know and the blanket answer for why the elderly are acting like they are is due to dementia. Doesn't mean they are always right.....but from my own ems experience and listening to my husband after he finishes the latest ER shift, patients demand answers whether they are 100% right or not. If you don't feel your current doc is giving you the straight scoop, then by all means go elsewhere.
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Oh they said he has both. Well I would have guessed they would of said that.
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Lilliput, I am not sure what he has. His memory was for the most part gone or he just couldn't tell us what he was thinking. He sounded like a baby trying to talk, very few words did he say that we could understand. But after the fall and operation it was like he came back from the dead. He would watch us walk around the room. He is still talking and we can understand a lot more than before he fell. He now wants to feed himself. He even wipes his mouth. He had termors, shaking and stiffness. softer speech. I have read on the internet about it but I still think they could be wrong. God only know what is wrong with him. Maybe it was the medication he was on for high blood pressure. Thanks for your input and if you can tell me anything else, I would love to hear it. Reba
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Reba, my Mom has had Parkinson's for 15+ years. Her mind is as sound as it has ever been. However, the other symptoms such as drooping eyes, staring, tremors, etc. lead some less than qualified docs to think hmmm, she must have Alz., too. Unbelievable! I find that docs rely way to much on anecdotal info. from family members in order to declare that someone has Alz. It really takes a knowledgable doc to diagnose it.

Alz and Parkinson's are really names they use as an "umbrella" term. No one has exactly the same symptoms and neither has a cure. I stopped taking Mom to her Parkinson's doc...there isn't much out there in the way of treatment, and visits to him seemed like a waste of time. He just poked around and asked her a lot of inane questions.
The more I am around doctors the more I realize how little they know. They really rely on the patient and his or her family to "help" them diagnose.
That is why I am a big fan of naturopathy and preventative medicine. Western medicine focuses too much on the "cure" and, if there isn't one, you are sent packing.
Good luck getting answers....be tenacious...ask questions...if the doc brushes you off, find a new one...there are a million out there!
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With both diseases, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's they do lose their memory. Parkinson's has other signs.
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They treated him for Alzheimer's for five years. In the hospital after he fell at the home and broke his hip, another doctor said he looks like he has Parkinson's. Our doctor saw him every three months. Why didn't he see it. He has Parkinson's. They called in a doctor that deals with this disease and he said its Parkinson's. Is this doctor right? Your guess is as good as mine. There is a differance.
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I guess I don't understand. Did the doctor say your husband has Alzheimer's but really has Parkinson's? Or was it the other way around? Aren't those two diseases pretty close by way of symptoms? Anytime there's a misdiagnosis there must be frustration for sure. No one can deny your 'feelings' they are YOUR feelings, but was there an honest mistake here or what?
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