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My husband used to love to do so many things. Now I can not find anything to interest him. All he wants to do is ride in the car - maybe get a milkshake and not to go home. I am really tired of driving around for no reason and really no place to go. I try to think of anything he might do to fill some time but haven't come up with anything he wants to do. Does anyone have any ideas?

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I also found a toddler age ‘Shape Sorter’ for momma to work. Sometimes she wants to do it, then she wants me to do it. Sometimes she takes it back. Also I will try the ‘Activity Board’ with laces to tie, buttons and zippers to close, etc. and see if that works. I realize what works today might not even be relevant tomorrow.
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what activities can you share with a 94 year old parent who is living with another sibling (guardian) who does little to stimulate her. I only see my mother about once a week at the moment. There is tension in the household where she lives with my sister.
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I recently took my mother ( with demensia) to a quite restaurant with artist paintings on the wall. Afterward, we went to the park, sat on a bench and watched people walk by and enjoyed the outdoors.
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My mum has lost interest in everything BUT shes started knitting again which is good my aunt cant understand how she can follow a pattern and have dementia? She has early stages so still quite capable but the watching tv is simular just background noise likes watching "HOARDING"???? the nurse has put her name down for daycare but i know shell hate it as she hated respite and boy did she let me know about it!!
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any restorative therapy ideas that one person could do with a group of dementia paients?
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All these ideas got me thinking outside the box. There are definitely some things I need to try! Each person is different...I just started using an Adult Day Care and it has been good for my husband and fabulous for me! I feel such relief! The cost is very good and they have lots of activities....Keep trying things!!
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That's pretty cool, actually.
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I came back to this thread, was reading all these post again most were from a while ago. I am so delighted to see how our individual experiences have a purpose now. We live and learn and now we can share to teach others. letitbe4u mentioned the cards to solve 2 problems this helps her Dad to be independent, and incase she can't remember, she has it written. This is also a good way for record keeping and proof of caregiving duties. This raised a thought that my help others. Which is, if, you post notes such as the date and the daily events for each day. (granted they can see well) Say 3:00 is snack time and 3:30 is a game of cards the bordem becomes a waiting time for next event.
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Some routines work and others don't for my mother. For her, going to the Adult Day Care twice a week and having a Homemaker-companion in once a week has really helped her be more lively and less anxious. Although she loathes the RideMe van ride home. I would not be able to afford these things if it wasn't for the State of Connecticut's Home Care for the Elderly program. When she's home, on good days, she wants to help with whatever she can, but on bad days she tired and in pain and anxious. I try to keep her occupied with watching the birds at the window bird feeder or looking at books or magazines. But she is a social person and prefers having someone nearby to chat with.

Good luck!
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Jig Saw puzzles with less than 100 pieces . Start the puzzle and work with them.
Card games that are simple like Go Fish, Old Maid, etc. Chinese checkers is simple. I administer my father's meds on an index card with the date marked on it and tape the pills on the card. After he takes the pill he signs the card and carries it with him. Then when he asks Did I take my pill? I say look and read the card. It has really worked! Good luck to all of you the Lord is taking special care of our loved ones by giving them the Long Goodbye.
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Hi! did he used to like being creative? if so a sketch pad, perhaps even using tracing paper, or you can get really great adult colouring books depending upon his abilities. My mother sits and colours quite a lot of the time although it is dependant upon her mood. Many years ago before she had her family she loved art and we have fed into that love. You could perhaps even get a colouring book on cars - it is something that has worked for us so I thought I would share it with you. Keep Smiling :)
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Have you checked into an adult day care for her, if only for a couple of days a week? It would give you a little break and do wonders for her. Also some kind of craft - at some of the rest homes I use to work at they would get crafts for children - they would easier to handle - from craft stores and the residents really enjoyed them. Some of the stores have classes and she might enjoy attending the ones that would be simple for her - as to no frustrate her. Good luck
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jjhr36, helping others is truely my pleasure since the nursing home is caring for Mom now 24/7 and my visits are sometimes delightful and other times depressing and frustrating, but all a learning experience. I teach the staff what they don't see about Mom's behavior as her "normal" and they taught me things that I wish I knew when I was caring for her. Working with the staff and understanding and communicating all the minor details is helpful as far as meds and remember we are all born with a unique personality and skills and if you go with what is already there as far as likes and dislikes you may find an easier way to cope. I want to share a funny story... at the begining of my cargiving days at the aware but clueless stage for both Mom and I... she was sitting at my kitchen table Thanx giving Morning, Parade was on TV and 21 lb on table right under Moms nose!!! She asked "is it a holiday? it feels like a holiday? " I said "yes it is Thanx giving" a minute passed scenery the same... She asked again "is it a holiday? it feels like a holiday? " I said "yes it is Thanx giving" ok you all know the drill this went on for quite sometime each time I pointed out the parade and the Turkey and finally she caught on then she said "Did you know today is Thanx giving?" as if I had not a clue! While frustating at that time the memory of that episode makes me smile now and I am glad I have that in my mind with me to make me smile forever. My father divorced from Mom for many years, supported me best he could through my complaining and struggle with her and the rest of the BS from unwilling family members, asked me when she became a NH resident "aren't you happy, she is there out of your care now and you can relax?" I think my response stunned him
I said " I am not really happy, I miss her and I enjoyed the time I spent caring for her and I found a great peace in my heart knowing I did what was best for her and I would do it again." I actually feel bad for the people who make lame excuses and really could have helped but didn't, because I was doing it all as if I had a choice. They have to live with themselves and I really think it bothers them now that I have peace of mind and heart that they cannot even understand and probably never will. Sharing this helps me as I hope it will give strength to you all as well.
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Thank you all for your excellent suggestions. I am aware of the importance of routine. It has been such a blessing and comfort to read the comments of other care givers on a variety of subjects and to know that I am not alone in my concerns and trials. Like all of you, it is so hard to watch someone you love change so much. Hugs to you all !
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Thank you for this heart-felt discussion. The daily routine is so essential. There's a saying, "Rhythm replaces strength." This means that routine (the rhythm of the day) can take over when you are losing your imagination, courage, humor, resourcefulness. Best wishes, and keep the suggestions coming.
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wuvsicecream, thanks for the suggestions. I don't know if I have the patience at this point to try and play bingo with her, but will try. I do have her fold towels(sometimes I take all the folded towels, dishtowels, ect., unfold them and let her fold them again and again.) She likes to put the silverware in the drawer, we could do that all day long, but by evening she is restless and bored. I have her on a routine and it has really helped her to stay calm, but evenings she is tired, fussy, does the crying thing. Getting up checking the locks on the doors, asking the same questions over and over. Wonder if those really simple kids puzzles, with only a few pieces would work?Any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.. thanks and hugs to all the tired caregivers out there
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Hi jjhr36,
We have this frustrating situation with my Mother, too. She is 93, has macular degeneration, dementia, and helpless. Caregivers and I keep her walking, exercising large muscles, using a squeezie ball to strengthen hands and coordination. Non-stop music channel on flatscreen. We read nursery rhymes to her and let her complete the verse, or try to remember song lyrics. She and I are both vocalists, so we are always breaking into song around the house. Sometimes she remembers lyrics I cannot, and that goes a long way. You could read Bible, too, or any book that has value to you and your husband. Did he like to garden, or cook, or fix things? Maybe Tinkertoys or a train set. I'm stretching here.
I hope you can relate to some of these things, or that it will inspire your own activities. It is the toughest position we can be in, I know. Thank God for this wonderful place:) HUGS
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PirateQueen I am, so glad to help. I finally understood the routine thing when visiting the NH and Mom, who never wanted to take meds, right after her dinner she went to nurse and asked for meds because next was bed time. Dinner time is 5:00 and I also witnessed several times most all the residence at NH get ready at 4:30 and behave until dinner is beeing served, if there is any delay beyond 5:00 they start acting up like impatient children. Some of the residents are mentally stable for the most part but get that way too but what else do they have to look forward to. I am a hairdresser and elderly folks are the most demanding about time if the appointment is 10:00 and I run behind they get angry.
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Hmmm good point about routine..I see how that works now with the Als/Dem! So glad you brought that to light...now I get it...now that will help with my mom....I see how she does integrate a boring routine and sticks to it...I see how it fits now. Now I can work with that to plan better...oh thanks so much for that tip. Now for coming up with things...oh boy..conversations are out the window..old movies is out the window...all she wants to watch is the FoodChannel..and does not really watch it...it's just back ground noise for her...but will not watch other channels..go figure. She pretty much does nothing but likes to lie down after eating or bathroom or baths...and then complains about lonliness and boredom..its like a loose loose situation..it's a toughy...I guess if one finds something that works for their mom or dad then they keep it up..just got find those few things..it's a tough job!

Happier days everyone!
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My heart is with you as I totaly understand. My Mom loved to go for walks so I would take her for a long walk. My thought was she'd be happier and satisfied, I was wrong, she'd forget and want to walk more(didn't remember we already went) agrue about going back home because to her we never walked. Alz/Dem finds comfort in routine, so if routine is a car ride and icecream than thats the routine expected, if not, it's out of the comfort zone. Anything out of the comfort zone causes stress, this leads to out of control behavior. Activities such as old movies, dancing, music, coloring, playing a game, bingo etc. should become part of routine. Meals and taking meds should be a same time everyday routine same with sleep, wake up and showering. Once the routine is the new norm. it should be easier for you. Hope this helps you.
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