My mother has had hip replacement and can not live by herself, but she won't live with anyone outside her home. What do you do with a disable person who is not willing to help herself?

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What is her doctor saying? Has he/she ordered caregivers/sometone to stay with her/for her to live with someone, before she can go home? The social worker at the hospital/rehab facility/nursing home, should have worked all that out. My relative was told she could not go home unless she had someone to come in to help her. She broke her hip and the surgeon did a hip replacement at the same time. She lives by herself. She went home. She has caregivers from an agency come in two hours in the morning and one hour in the evening. They give her breakfast, give her a bath, dress and undress her, and do light housekeeping, wash and set her hair. She gets her noon meal delivered. And I come over to get her supper. I provide her transportation and get her medications prepared on a weekly basis. She basically does not have to lift a finger for herself. She does not have dementia. If your mother cannot to pay anyone for a few hours per day, please contact your Local Area Office on Aging. If she is Medicaid eligible, she might qualify for a Waiver/Choices program, to pay for this care. A waiting list may or may not exist. Get her a personal alarm, so if she should fall, she can press the button and the company will contact you, and if you are not available, will notify emergency responders who will come, pick her up, and, if needed, transport her to the ER. If the door is locked, they will have the combination to a little box to house her housekey. They will lock back up after leaving. If you can get her to except just a little bit of help, it will keep her in hew home for sometime. Speak to her doctor. He can write a prescription for caregivers, mobile meals, personal alarm, hospital bed, anything that may be needed. If she does not want anyone to come into the home, have the doctor order it via prescription.
Hi~ To my knowledge: If your Mom just had the surgery, and not at home yet, she is entitled to go to rehab, and Medicare will pay for this. A physical terapist will work with your Mom-then at that point. You might want to check into this-even if she is back at home, as there may be a loophole-somewhere in the system that will allow this care thru medicare. The social worker from the hospital, would know all the legistics. As LME has suggested, I would speak with your local eldercare agency about this issue if need be.
Having part time in home care.... would that be enough for her? It's a great compromise, if so. Until my little couple both suffered health setbacks, I was there 3 hours in the AM and 2 at night.
I had a hip replacement and was able to manage as long as someone came in every day and I had the right equipment (commode, raised toilet seat, reacher/grabber, walking aids and so on).
Each day a friend would arrive, make us both some food and put something in the fridge for me the following day.
I had a place set up where I could be comfortable with everything in easy reach (books, TV remote, phone(and charger!)) and settled down quite well.
Most of the time I was slightly spaced out with the medication so time passed quite quickly.
I wouldn't have had it any other way. I certainly wouldn't have wanted someone moving in or for me to stay in hospital or rehab a day longer than was absolutely necessary.

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