You call this 24/7 care?

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My 90 year old mother has had 3 caregivers in her home for 10 months now. Two caregivers work (and sleep) 60 hours straight and the third caregiver works (and sleeps) 48 hours straight. The caregivers are doing a super job with preparing mom 2 balanced meals per day, cleaning the house, and ensuring she is taking her medication (very little medication)....I can't complain about that.

After 10 months and having developed a relationship with mom.... I expect more now from the caregivers and more assistance is required.

1. They do not ensure she is drinking enough fluids during the day, even after 2 UTIs. I have suggested cranberry juice, vitamin water,'s not happening.

2. She also needs a shower once/week.....I, her daughter, am getting her into the shower while the caregiver is sitting and reading a book,

3. The caregivers need to get mom out of her chair and out of the house to walk (with he walker). Her muscles are declining and she is more afraid now to fall. They leave her in her chair with a video on.

4. The caregivers need to get up from their sleep between 4 - 8am in the morning to get mom to the bathroom before there are any accidents.

The response I receive from the agency and the caregivers is that " We can't force her".

These caregivers get paid by the HOUR ( including get paid by the hour to sleep for 8-10 hours) a day.

Help.....what should I do??


Before said Caregivers started working for you, did you give each a list of what is expected of them while they are in your Mom's care? If not, work on a list. Make sure what is requested is within the realm of what the Caregiver can do on a daily basis.

If you are giving your Mother a shower once a week, why should the Caregiver bother if you are doing it? Ask the Caregiver to help you, so she can learn the best way to help your Mother shower.

Instead of waking Mom up between 4:00 and 8:00 a.m., put a blue sheet on her bed to catch any accidents.

As for Gatorade, does your Mother take pills for high blood pressure? If the answer is yes, don't give her Gatorade, one cup has 110 mg of sodium. Plain water is the best.
Hmmmm. This is why bringing in carers to the home doesn't always work out so well. On site supervision is better for all involved. My opinion. There is a benefit to the patient seeing that others are up and about. More social stimulation. More eyes all around. Less self involvement. Think about what is best for mom at this point.
None of us can force her to drink, go outside, do a little PT or anything else. For ten years I argued with my daughter to take her pills, eat her food, go outside. I never won the battle, cancer did.
im still a little seeth - ey at the gal last night who was calling elders 2 - 4 yr olds and said her directives were written in stone before she even entered the house . she just hasnt entered the right house yet . i agree with pam . your mother is going to decline and die if you have 20 in home caregivers .
an idiotic hospice aid crammed my mom in the shower once and bout scrubbed the skin off of her back . we took control of our home at that point and hospice started answering to us ( mom ) . my mom was 80 yrs old , not 2 or 4 ..
1) They can't force her. Little ol' ladies drink when and what they want. The most that can be done is offer fluids frequently. Were you ever able to get her to drink? Make sure her food contains fluids, like soups, juicy fruits, hot dishes, etc.
2) Have you specifically told the caregiver to give Mom a shower? Will Mom let the caregiver help her shower? Have you tried the both of you giving the shower together for a few times?
3) They can't force her. Maybe having a routine where she goes for a short walk after breakfast each day, and also mid afternoon, would help.
4) I really don't like the idea of waking someone up to take them to the toilet. If Mom wakes up, sure, help her to the bathroom. I'm not convinced that avoiding an accident is worth disrupting sleep. Instead, prepare for accidents, and expect the caregiver to do the laundry and make the bed.

I think what you "should do" is renegotiate what tasks the caregivers are expected to do, and also accept that they are not magicians who can make your mom do what she doesn't want to do.

And I also think you should consider ba8alou's suggestion for re-evaluating the value of being home vs being in a care center. What is really best for Mother?
I don't understand how waking mom to go to the bathroom is going to help. It seems she is going to go when she is ready to go. I used to get my son up to go to the bathroom when he was having some potty training issues. Those with dementia cannot be trained, even if CG got her up to go at 4 she will probably need to go again.

Are you paying a lower rate that allows the caregiver six hours sleep (that is what it is in this area) or the higher rate that requires them to stay awake?
Cap, missed that one someone calling our old folks 2 and 4 year olds?! Probably good I missed it!
Not for nothing but.... I don't think the person actually meant the patient was 2 or 4 years old. Their mentality has reverted to that stage in life. Before I moved home I was an assistant Principle at a private school for 15 years. My boss, the owner, dealt with AD and told me that I needed to STRUCTURE mom's day just like we did with the 4 year olds. Back then I thought he was out of his bald a** mind! Today I thank him for continued support. My mother is not 79. She is a child, a cranky mischievous child at times. She no longer has the mentality or capability of an adult. So yeah....totally get the 4year old scenario.
Why are you presenting US with your list? Tippy-type it out in Word, put a spot at the bottom for each of their signatures and a space for the date, read it aloud to each of them separately; ask if they have any questions. And tell them to sign the form. Then get them together and ask them how they're going to divvy up these responsibilities.
Re early morning potty. I didn't notice that. I wouldn't wake a sleeping bear to go to the bathroom. If she's asking to go, that's one thing. If not? Just change her Depends when she gets up -- which should be done regardless.

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