Well, after a crazy spring and summer where my mom repeatedly told me she would no longer be in contact with me anymore or she would find (and then said she did) someone to take her shopping, now she has called me and informed me that I need to find a day to set several hours aside so I can take her for "a bit" of shopping.
I ask what she needs (maybe I can grab a loaf of bread and some eggs at the store?) and she's mum about it. (This means probably that she wants cigarettes, which, along with her own reflection, are her two great loves in life.)
I'm annoyed because I can't stand dealing with this woman. Every call she makes turns into an occasion to tell me how mean or how ungrateful I am, this or that thing that I did wrong, or how she had to do EVERYTHING on her own (except for when she needs me to take her somewhere or fix something for her ...), or how awful my dad was, or she makes digs at my weight (like it's a good idea to not lose weight, because you can use the fat to get you through the hard times that are ahead. Really? Lovely!)
I am so tired of dealing with her. There is no civility here and I have a hard time controlling myself while talking to her, and afterwards I feel drained and sick as a dog. I want to reason with her but can't, and yet each time I talk to her I feel like I'm sinking into new emotional lows.
I had such high hopes she'd be taking a cab now and then and now, I'm supposed to just take time off work (because it MUST be done during a weekday) to bend to her will. I told her I would pick her up Thursday and drop her off at a grocery store and get her in a couple hours because I don't feel like following her around Kroger for three hours while she stares in fascination at packages of kielbasa and frozen fish!
I don't know what I want here, but to vent, I guess. I just honestly want nothing to do with this woman anymore. There is no pleasant chat about the weather. Striking up a conversation about the past is just a chance for her to relive old grievances. On top of that she's half-deaf and says inappropriate, sexist or racist things.
I'm just tired of it. And her calling with this attitude that I owe her an unpaid day off to cart her around so she can buy cigarettes and bacon just infuriates me all the more!
She cut me out of her life by telling me not to call her or visit her, changes her keys so I can't even check on her if she doesn't answer her phone or door, and changes her bank information so I can't even use the extra debit card I used to have to go pick up her medicines and so on (my husband got laid off a year ago and my income has gone down since I was laid off -- but found another job, fortunately --so I can't exactly afford to buy her stuff anymore, and I can't afford to take time off work.)
So again, I'm just tired of dealing with her and want to vent. I believe in respecting the elderly and all that but what about when your mom expects you to be her beck-and-call and verbal whipping post?