Well, they won't accept my husband back.

Follow
Share

It finally happened. The residential board and care memory home, said they would not take him back after his last episode. He tried to pull his Foley cathader out AGAIN, and purposely splattered his blood all over the room. Then when the respite caregiver tried to calm him down he threw his walker at her and tried to hit her. Ambulance was called and they took him up to the hospital in psychiatric care. He has been there 4 days, had an evaluation, and now they are trying to find an available bed in a behavioural hospital. My question, what kind of hospital are they talking about? And, can I request a partial refund for the last half of the month from this home? He has been there since April 1st, and has only spent nor more than 2 weeks there. He was causing problems from the beginning saying he wanted to go home then he wanted to go back to Germany to live with his dad, (dad has been gone for over 30 years) then he thought someone was spying on him outside, chasing him. Last week he tgrew away all the plates and stuff when the head of the house was making dinner bc he thought she was poisoning everyone. He was also busting into the other 3 residents rooms in the middle of the night. I understand how frustrating and difficult this was, I tried to handle it here and he was worse! I just think some of the.episodes could have been handled differently. This whole thing has been stressful, and I think handled poorly. I saw him last night. I didn't stay long. He seems calmer, but confused. And very tired. He really didn't recognize. In and out but kept asking bizarre questions then drifting off. I left went down to the car and burst into tears. This has been horrible. Plus the.financial strain is killing me. I can make it. But it's hard with an old house, and plus, everything I go to try to make a budget, that home would call with another crisis. I pray this is going to end soon. As for the.home everything went to.that place and I feel a little ripped off. But if they kicked.him out am I in titled to get back a little money?

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
24

Comments

Show:
1 2 3
Wow, I didn't realize I had already answered this. Anyway, I speak now from even more experience. Hope that things are better.
(0)
Report

This is the nursing homes fault! 100%. Your husband's behavior stems from his medical issue, which, by admitting him, they said the could handle. Most people with Alzheimer's or dementia go through and aggressive stage and they know it! They needed to have given him a medication that would take the edge off without "zombifying" him, such as Depakote or Buspar. They failed him and now you're both being treated like he's somehow "bad." I feel so sorry for you. The EXACT same thing happened to me and it just about crushed my spirit. In my case, instead of kicking my mother out, they accused her of being psychotic, said they couldn't give her psych meds because she walks and that would make her a fall risk, sent her to the ER every time there was an episode, treated her inappropriately so she would HAVE an episode, threatened to have her committed to a long term psychiatric hospital, FORCED me to hire a private aide to be with her in the NH, etc. I'm so sorry. you need to know that your husband is not bad and you're not bad. He's sick, you're doing the best you can, and the facility was wrong. I am soooo sorry.
(1)
Report

correction: billing is day to day.
(0)
Report

I'm so sorry. I was in a similar boat. The home did not handle this well. He needed a psych evaluation and meds to prevent this kind of thing. Shame on them. I would persue a refund. Billing is day to say and you are entitled. On the somewhat bright side, if they were unable to care for your dad, perhaps it would be better if he went somewhere where he can be taken care of. Again, I'm so sorry. My heart was bursting a few months ago and I've cried more tears thst I had in my life. If it helps at all, you are not alone.
(0)
Report

IT still has some work to do, evidently, I was it too.
(0)
Report

At least twice, then :)
(1)
Report

This idiot and the "supernatural spells" spam just doesn't give up.

Post has been reported for deletion.
(1)
Report

I saw him this evening. He is still confused, but calmer. A thought came to me. I think he was spitting out his medication at that place.. i brought it up to the nurse and she agreed with me. For stupid sakes that was one of the many many reasons he was there. I feel even more cheated(((((
(0)
Report

These care homes are a very difficult balance. I have a friend that had her MIL in three different ones because of behavior problems. After the third it was determined that she needed a higher level of care than can be provided in these homes. She ended up in a nursing home because of medications needed to control her behavior.

You should see an attorney that specializes in Medicaid planning. There is a process called spousal impoverishment that will protect you from losing everything while your husband receives the care he needs. Yes, an attorney will cost some money but will be well spent. Check out a website AVVO to research attorneys in your area.
(0)
Report

I hate to be doom and gloom, but the issue about payment for your husband's room will be to do whether it was his to occupy or available for another tenant. And even if he didn't seem to spend more than the odd day there, it was still his room. You'll need to look again at the terms-and-conditions in your agreement, but if they only gave you notice that they wouldn't accept him back at the beginning of this week, I think you're probably a bit stuck claiming a refund. When have you paid the fees up until? Is the room charged on a monthly, weekly or daily basis? What notice is mentioned in the cancellation part of the agreement?

The owner-administrator (it never does seem to be a happy combination, judging by other people's posts, too) is blathering on saying the first thing that comes into her head. The decision about whether he was to be accepted back there wasn't the hospital's call, it was her board's, for one thing; so what is she whittering on about as far as expecting the hospital to keep her informed?

Um. A one-page contract? For a full-on Nursing Home? Blimey. Don't tell me, it's written in child's crayon…

Well. It sounds as if they bit off more than they could chew admitting him in the first place; which doesn't sound very professional; which would also mean he might have dodged a bullet not having to stay there any longer. I think there is probably little to be gained by pursuing a refund, beyond reclaiming any rent in advance that you've paid. I hope all those people who've been "making enquiries" know what they're getting for their money.
(0)
Report

1 2 3
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Related
Questions