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My wife's mother got evicted 6 months ago and moved in with us, she is 60yrs old has failing health and no income. We gave her my son's bedroom and he been sleeping on the couch. My wife had to sign her up for medicaid and disability she got the medicaid but still waiting on the disability. The problem I have with my mother-in-law is that shes not sanitary she uses the restroom, coughs and uses tissue to wipe her nose and then goes in the refridgerator and dont wash her hands before touching food that we have to eat.No one has said anything to her because we dont want to hurt her feelings. Is it wrong for me to want to put her in a shelter i cant takke her being unsanitary no more plz help

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Go to your local "area agency on aging," which you can google. It may be located at a senior center. They have social workers who can help you find the right resources.

Be nice about it, but firm. "We have rules in this house, and we would like you to follow them. We will remind you until you get into the habit of doing it."
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She got evicted because she got behind on rent when she was in hospital because she could'nt breath all we know is she has C.O.P.D and high blood pressure. She got denied for disability last week, now we have to help get a lawyer to get her disability.That going to take months take months to
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I can imagine she was evicted, had no where to go, and you took her in so she was not on the street. can you get a social worker involved who can help with what services MIL might qualify for and get her into a group home or low income housing, depending on what she needs? Let us know how you are doing.

OH - and give your son his room back. MIL on the couch might help her want to help you make the change.
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Why was your son displaced in favor of your mother? Why isn't she sleeping on the couch? You did not have the room for her so why was she taken in long term?
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Hornet66, you are not wrong. She is showing signs of dementia. Get the Medicaid and get her admitted to the county home.
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You gave your MIL your son's bedroom. How old is he? Why doesn't he deserve a bedroom as much as MIL does? Why isn't she sleeping on the couch?

I guess I see more potential problems here than the hand-washing thing. It sounds like you do not have a big enough place to easily accommodate another adult.

I have the same questions already asked. Why was she evicted? What is the nature of her disability. For example, does she have cognitive problems that would make it hard for her to learn proper hygiene? What was the long-term plan when your moved her in? It sounds like you are making progress in helping her solve her money problems. Hooray! Good for you guys! Disability often takes a long time -- hang in there!

Personally, I think you next step is to help her find her own housing, just as you're helping her sign up for Medicaid and Disability. I can't see how living with you is going to work out long-term.
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Love it, Stacey!
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By all means, step up and set some house rules! Your house, your rules! When my Nana came to live with us when I was about 12, my Dad told her, my wife and kids are number one, you fall in somewhere behind that! You must pitch in, and be respectful and responsible in my home, Period, like it or lump it! She didn't like it, but he stuck to his guns!
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Caramel102088, just curious why your mom-in-law was evicted? Curious how she was taking care of herself with no income prior to moving to your house? A back story to this would be helpful so we could understand better what is going on.

In the mean time, tell Mom-in-law it is the flu season and everyone has to wash their hands even after they cough or blow their nose. And make an example with the whole household doing this.
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She is only 60, even with poor health that is young, she could be around another 30 years. Get her on the waiting list for subsidized housing, the sooner the better.
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