Why so many negative posts and replies?!

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Steph here again, for those of you who don't know. My new husband and I just moved into his 91-year-old grandma's house so we can provide care for her. My husband's uncle was previously living with her, but he is now in a hospice situation and isn't doing well. He was verbally and mentally abusive to Grandma, so it sounds cruel, but I'm glad he's out of the picture. It's difficult because she asks about him a lot, but I always seem to know what to say to ease her mind, at least for a little while. Yes, I'm new to the caregiver thing and I am stunned that so many people told me not to do it. Yes, we're being smart and responsible with everything, we have a lawyer and we have a caregiver agreement signed. We're going to be paid for the care we give her, so relax everyone! Lol. Grandma is doing great and loves having our company. We think she's in the early stages of dementia, because she knows who we are, but she just always asks the same questions over and over. She's a peach and a real joy to be around. She gets up at 8am every morning, puts half a bagel in the toaster oven and makes herself instant coffee. I bring her her pills. She's really easy and usually doesn't need or want company or help until around noon. Even then, all I do is check her blood sugar, if it's too high I give her insulin, then I sit with her for a couple hours and she repeats old stories to me like she's never told them before, I love it. She's able to make her own food, use the toilet on her own and everything. I'm mostly there to keep her company and make sure she doesn't wander or get too confused. She goes to bed around 8 pm and with my husband and I living in her basement, we can hear every creak in the floor above us. I love my new role, I feel like I've found a new sense of selflessness and commitment and I couldn't be more thrilled to help our grandma live as happy and healthy as possible in her final years. Shame on all you naysayers!

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Dear She1934,

Sending you love and hugs. I know its a tough road and you are such a good person to carry on. We all do the best we can every day. It sure isn't easy.

Maria Shriver has a new book. A reporter asked her about what she has learned being in her 60s. She said she is kinder, gentler and less judgemental. I really try and hope I can carry on those values in my own life.
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You are very much to be commended for your commitment to caring for this lovely woman. I am happy that it is working out so well and that you honor and appreciate her. But please please do not be judgemental toward those of us who are exhausted, sick and emotionally depressed while going through a completely different experience. My loved one was a charming, funny, independent, easy going man two years ago. He still has a few lucid moments each day, but for the most part, is an angry, confused, totally different person who barely functions, has awful nighttime incontinence, does not recognize me, calls me ugly names, tells me to get out, and so much more. His delusions and paranoia and restless nights are exhausting to the point of feeling hopeless. He cannot be placed because there is no money. I am here 24/7/365. I truly hope his never happens to you. Please be more understanding.
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I know this is old, but I always wonder what happens to people? I love an update to each of these caregivers story. As soon as I read this I thought of Depeche Mode's song, "Walking in My Shoes."
"Try walking in my shoes.
You'll stumble in my footsteps"
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Uh.... you've been doing this for how long? So she can still do things for herself and her attitude hasn't changed, and you even get PAID - wow. Oh - and you have an understanding hubby to help. So things are great for now..... right.
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Please note, this discussion was almost a year ago.
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wait to it drags on for years. Then come back and scold us.
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I feel grateful to be in position to care for my mother at this time of her life. It’s difficult, exhausting and stressful. We had a very complex relationship in the past. But this is my mother. It’s a shame to blast anyone on here for having a positive experience with caregiving. I was searching for support. Positive support.
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I understand you need something positive. Here is a nice experience. in 2013, I enjoyed being with my mom. She was pleasant, she had a caregiver, and I connected with her. I enjoyed having lunch with her and playing cards with her. Plus, since she had a caregiver, I could go out and do things. She passed in 2014. I miss her.

Then I start taking care of my father about that time. A different story. He doesn't want a caregiver so I take care of him. He is able to do some things by himself, thank G-d. But needs help with some things. He has a temper and is depressed that he can't drive to places like he use to. So I try to take him places sometimes. There are good days and challenging days. I try to make time for myself and my husband.

Make sure that you are your husband make time for each other, in order to keep your marriage healthy. May you and your family be healthy and happy
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Goodnight dear thread, goodnight Negative thread.
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Cwillie,
You make a good point, since the OP has moved on to other posts. And what is happening now is a new poster will be trapped and ignored here, needs to ask her own question so others on the forum may try to help her.
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