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It's been awhile since I've been in here to post, but just this morning I received an email of a message someone had posted on another persons topic that I am all too familiar with. The lack of help from other siblings, in my case, my ONLY sibling. In a nutshell, the message the person left said that it is not fair to only hear one side of the story.
In my opinion, this is a place for those of us having difficulty with our situations to be able to SCREAM OUT OUR FRUSTRATIONS to others that truly understand. All of us are in different situations and deal with different issues, but just knowing that there is someone else out there that understands .. well it truly helps all of us get through our difficult moments.
This is not to say that the people who are NOT the caregiver in the family shouldn't be able to express their feelings on here as well. I just would like them to keep in mind that all of our situations are different and we are not bashing our siblings .. we are merely trying to purge the hurt and frustration that we feel on a daily basis. My sister continues on with her life doing things SHE wants .. taking courses, going on jaunts here and there, etc. I'm angry because she simply does not understand that MY life has changed dramatically. No social activities for me anymore, let alone going on a vacation. I sunk into a deep depression .. very deep.. and her advice was to .. snap out of it. I also must mention that she is a NURSE and so should be even MORE understanding than most. Well, here I go, venting again, but that brings me back to the original subject of this post.
For those of you who are NOT the caregiver ,please understand that all of us NEED to be able to say how we truly feel and NOT BE MADE TO FEEL ASHAMED for saying it.
We are not posting these feelings on social networking sites to tell the world about our siblings. We have found an appropriate place, made for us, where we can SHARE FEELINGS.
It's been over 7 years now for me and it's not a wonderful experience at all. She constantly complains about me and my husband and tells me I am useless and other hurtful things. It's not dementia. It's a selfish woman who has always been demanding and never expresses any gratitude whatsoever. I love her. I always have, but I never received it back from her. That's why it's even more painful.
Ok vent over and I feel a little better now !!

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For those of you who are NOT the caregiver ,please understand that all of us NEED to be able to say how we truly feel and NOT BE MADE TO FEEL ASHAMED for saying it. ~~ Thanks for your vent. I read it. And read again... twice. I smirked. Not to you. But to my cousin whom I remembered in 2009 when my mom had another medical emergency crisis. She made me feel ashamed for "moving slowly" and not acting upon the emergency of my mom. She didn't understand fully that I have nothing more to give, as money is simply wasted on my mom for 19 years of caregiving. Yes! You are reading it clearly. 19 years. This is the most difficult part of Alzheimer's as it can stretch for decades and wear out not just the patient, but the caregiver, as in this case, it's only me as I am an only child. Well, to go back to whom I was smirking, it's my cousin. She berated and wrote me a very meaty, long letter full of admonition as to why i can't manage my time, and why I can't go to the hospital as it was my turn that day to be on duty for my mom as her sister is about to leave the hospital, and me taking over. As I explained to her that I didn't take my leave of absence yet from work, and I have to see to it that my daughter had breakfast and will have something to eat for lunch when she comes home from school alone, cuz i will be in the hospital by then. All these explanations didn't suffice. Yeah I smirk at your words. I knew it so well. I admire your for writing it down here! And next time another medical emergency happens, my cousin or any one in my family will be giving me their 2 cents worth and their words of wisdom, not seeing my point of view, but making me "see, listen, respond, accept, live up to their words of wisdom the way they see it as the more appropriate thing to follow" while my own style of caregiving is rubbish and non-essential in their opinion. Man, 19 years of caregiving?!! I vent! I scream and rant!! Is 19 years "non-essential?" WTF! Man if I spent it on the pursuit of my own life and goals and aspirations, most of my bills will be paid, including my house. Now what has 19 non-essential years have brought upon me??? You tell me!
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