When they refuse help...

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Though Daddy's dementia has still not been officially diagnosed, it's clear that something is wrong.

He repeats the same story over and over as if he didn't just relay it ten minutes ago. He introduced me to my sister as if we never met. I can tell him something and within minutes he doesn't remember what I said.

I think he KNOWS something is off, but doesn't want to admit it. When I offer to give him reminders he blows up "I'M NOT CRAZY.... I'M NOT AN INVALID...."

...but he kinda is. He's had several incontinence accidents but refuses to wear something to help with it. He refuses to bathe on a regular basis....he's been legally blind since I was born, so the only thing he DOES admit is that he can't see, but now he can't hear, and he refuses to get his hearing checked.

He's threatening not to cooperate with the cognitive testing...

Is it denial.... stubborness....or the disease


This is clearly dementia and you are not going to be able reason with your father. You have to ignore it, don't argue and move along. Key in a search for Dealing with dementia, on this site and learn how to handle him. Good luck.
Btw, I wouldn't get in a huge fight over taking him to be tested. The exam will simply tell you what you already know. If he'll cooperate fine, it's good to have an exact diagnoses, but it won't change anything. My dad totally denies anything is wrong and refuses any testing and he's been moving from mild to moderate dementia for about 3 years now. It's really hard for my mother to see him failing but she has learned how to deal with him pretty well.
On testing you will have to pull his Dr aside or call ahead for them to make a note of your concerns. Have them do hearing as well if they can. I wish you luck, I do understand on them not wanting help, even from Drs, or wanting only limited help! I agree with Windyridge, look up all the info and I know he wont agree with you, I know its frustrating!
Where is he living? I think he clearly needs 24/7 care. Good luck.
Tinyblu, this year I've notice my Dad is being to have memory issues, nothing earth shattering, just instant replays. But my Dad does admit he knows his memory isn't working as good as it use to, so that's good that he realizes it. Heck, my memory takes detours on a regular basis.

My Dad has incontinence accidents and had been refusing to wear anything, finally my Mom [97] had enough of cleaning up the messes... so she handed Dad the cleaning supplies, he had to clean up his own messes.... recently Dad bought a package of Depends :)

I think a lot of it pride, they don't want to admit they are aging as they don't want to be looked upon as being as old as their parents once were. Dad knows he is aging but he still tries to do things he use to do with ease when he was 65, but he can't any more. I know my Mom is in denial. She still gives Dad a honey-do list not realizing Dad just can't do those things any more.

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