What to do?
So, I've posted on here a couple of times re: caring for my 88 y/o MIL. I write out her bills and she signs them. I call in her Rxs, pick them up, set them up. I usually write out the bills that same day. The past two months she said she would have granddaughter write out her phone bill when it came in and they would send it off. Well, she fell this past weekend and her first alert wouldn't work? She had taken the phone bills and put them up forgetting to pay them. Her phone had been cut off. No phone, no first alert. She isn't hurt, no bruises. She is a large woman. Not tall, but large (256 and 5'2"). I am just going to rant, okay? Just going to lay it out here and hope no one cares. She can't see, except in the periphery. She can't hear because she won't wear her hearing aides I bought for her. So, I get to her house and I am crying (2nd weekend in a row I'm just a nervous wreck over family issues) and shaking like a leaf. The 911 guys are there and assure me she's okay. I talk to her about the phone bill and she thought she had paid it. Not since 8/9/16. I call the phone company and get everything turned on and later test the first alert. All is well and working. She refuses to go get checked out and says she needs to go to town to pick up supplies. I take her there and she seems fine. She is fine. I find out that she burned two pans last week because she had the wrong eyes on on the stove. So almost 5 hours later, I go to my home. Still nervous and wanting to cry because this has been sliding downhill for awhile and her other children do not help even though two live less than 20 miles away. Remember this is my MIL. My husband just sits back and lets me do all this too. "Momma wants you to do it." which is true. She trusts me more than anyone else. I send an email to all her other children (four) and receive this back from daughter in another state. "Thank you. Do you think she needs to go be checked out?" I said "She says No. I've been with her 4 1/2 hours and all seems well." Now my 4 1/2 hours is probably twice as long as daughter has spent with her in the past two years. I don't know why that struck me wrong, but I'm here and she's not. One child didn't even reply. I tried to talk to my husband about it over the w/e and didn't get anywhere. They all stick their heads in the sand. Momma needs help and I cannot get it for her. I have her healthcare POA and husband has durable POA. She has a few $$ that would be eaten up in less than a year and she knows that if she goes to assisted care of NH then it's gone. Her husband was a Vet, but they do not pay for NH or AL. I am just about done. My therapist (trying to get help for myself) said set up boundaries. Well, that didn't work too well. Not with her or DH. PLUS her other children are RETIRED and I work 40 hours a week and am gone from home 11 hours a day. Thank you all for letting me rant and rave. Nothing is solved, but I feel better. I have been doing this for almost all of the 14 years I have been married to my husband. But all the time in the last 6 years since her husband died. She hasn't driven in about 10 years. Please, any comments would be appreciated. I don't think they're going to change unless they are FORCED to.