What is the purpose in all this?

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So often, I question, Why am I going through this? As a Christian, I'm not supposed to feel this way! She's still alive, so God must have a purpose for her. There is incredible guilt that goes along with those questions and feelings. I search some Christian care giving sites and found this little nugget to be encouraging. Thought I would pass it along. Basic info, but powerful if you just take a moment to meditate on it.

The Spiritual Aspects of Caregiving

Trust me! This may be painful but its for the best! God tells us that [w]hen you pass through the fire, you will not be burned. He wants us to remember that though fire burns, it also purifies. The Refiner wants believers to look at the positive aspects that caregiving offers:
A closer relationship with God
Trust in God
A sense that others are watching your faith in action
A more mature faith, purified by testing
The ability to face and handle negative emotions
Healing of previous hurts, especially involving family fallouts


There is a big difference between spirituality and religion, the latter does a great job at engendering "guilt."
Thank you for sharing! Faith in action is a true blessing and I have also found a closer relationship to God through this process. Sending you prayers and hugs.
The last few months of my Mom's life were awful for everyone. I am still trying to figure out what the purpose was.
As a catholic I ask that question every day!

Just a thought:

People are living longer. Is that because God made some people so smart that they invent biological resources that prolong life? Or, are they out smarting God with their scholastic skills?

Fear keeps us here on earth...
At times it is very hard to take the high road. Thank you for your words because this is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I feel so guilty at times for what is going on in my head while my Mother is talking because at times I want to yell at her for being so self-centered, unengaged with life, clinging on to me ect..... goes on forever. I do not act on these impulses but they still make me feel guilty. So I usually just say a little prayer for patience and get on with the day.
Hadenough, I have those same feelings every day...it is very hard. I have a deep faith...and just because something is hard or involves suffering...doesn't mean it is pointless or has no purpose. It is the plight of humans to wonder if we act selfishly or accoriding to gods will...hence the notion of FAITH...we don't ever know for sure...suffering is an extraordinary state of being...and I've learned a great deal from it - mostly it helps me appreciate what I have...including the ability to siffer and feel and love....hugs to everyone
Thank you QuechueCare67 - it is good to know there are others on this road. I have a deep faith also. I don't find myself questioning my faith as much as I feel disappointment in my siblings for not realizing what their Mother is going thru.
I like the Buddhist notion that pain is part of life, suffering however, is optional.
I, too, have a deep faith and it gets me through daily. I firmly believe that God has a plan for everything that happens. We may never realize what that plan is. Or perhaps we avoided a tragic accident because we were home with our family member, or something equivalent. I pray and pray and sometimes HIS answer is "no". I will probably never know what He has decided for me, I just have to have the Faith that He has given me that what I am doing is what is supposed to be done. I don't feel guilt, I just feel sad that my mom "died" about five years ago and this person who is inhabiting her body needs care.
This is a really thought provoking post. I certainly believe we have guardian angels and I like the notion of suffering being optional.
I would describe myself as a caregiver in waiting. Slowly assuming the task bit by bit- that is assuming I don't need the care first.
I read what some of you in fact most of you are enduring and hope it never comes to that but then I look at the news and see women clutching their babies and running through the streets in Syria and other countries trying to dodge the bullets. I think of the extreme fear of someone facing a home intruder or the peasants in the path of an invading army knowing what their fate will be and it wont be quick. I know why snipers in the Vietnam war ended their own lives rather than face capture. How would one feel to be driving a car over a bridge and feel it collapsing beneath our wheels.
We have one weapon with which to fight these fears and that is courage. Courage is what allows caregivers to give of their best at whatever the cost to themselves. Faith supports courage. Love supports courage. Would you rather be caring for that shriveled old woman in the bed screaming obscenities who used to be the loving mother who nurtured you and supported you in good times and bad or the poor terrified Indian girl on the bus raped with a stick thrust deep in her belly causing her death. The point I am trying to make is that there is always someone worse off than you and you can only do your best and that is always good enough. there are forces out there bigger than we are whether we have a religious belief or not. Why did the bus driver stop his bus on the bridge at that moment and pull the suicidal woman to safety. he had courage and she still has a purpose in life. Why was the bus five minutes late when my Mom and I were going into town during WW 11 and we heard an unmanned German bomb go over head. Five minutes later our bus drove by the ruined house where the bomb had landed. Why did that happen? Why does anything happen. This probably does not make a great deal of sense but that post raised so many thoughts and questions.

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