I'm Only 38! Welcome to my pity party!
I've been on this forum since taking on care giving for my 85 year old father. As I sit in the hospital with him...again while waiting to go clean out another desk (this will be job loss number 3 since giving up my good paying job because it required lots of travel)...I'm resentful.
This is not what I pictured my life to be. I had a great career that allowed me to travel. My plan was to make good money and start a family later in life. Since taking on the care giver role ( Daddy's other living children provide minimal help), I've gained 25 pounds (don't have time to exercise; junk food has become my friend), my house foreclosed, I lost my car, I work two jobs and still can't make ends meet, I broke up with my BF (I'm no longer a nice person)... Everything fell apart.
I put Daddy in IL and was actually going to steal a couple of "me" days this week then BAM! He gets sick again.
I was recently cussed out pretty badly by a younger niece and accused of being selfish...am I? From what I've seen, I'm one of the younger care givers...The average age of children with parents my dad's age is 50.
I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes I miss my old life. My friends are living their lives...traveling, marrying, etc. (Wait...that's my sister who takes mini vacations with her new hubby bi-weekly)
I've wasted away to an angry, sad, fat worthless slob and I hate myself for it...
Sorry for the pity party. I'm just exhausted...