we need some help!!!!!

Started by

should i itemize all my fathers expendetures before i apply for medicaid. My father is Not trying to help me out all he does is pay his part for the rent electric and cable and food. but when it comes down to appreciate me and help me and my fiance with some finances as when our car breaks down and when we need gas to get him where he needs to go as doc appts. and for his personal shopping it becomes a problem. i took care of my recent mother and she had no problem and offered to pay me a lil cash for the help i assisted her with and he dont. im 26 have a three year old and fiance that cares and we cant take the stress and believe we deserve some extra income for what we put up with


You know, I hate to be too blunt.. having said that.. but I think you should re-examine WHY you're taking care of your dad. Are you doing it for the financial benefit? This is when you decide your motives. If it's all about whatever money you can squeeze out of the 'old man' then you've got a long road ahead of you. The job of care taking is pretty thankless anyway, but when a person only does it for $$ then it's pretty miserable for everyone. Maybe dad would be better off in an asst. living/retirement place. This is where the rubber meets the road Chrystal, good luck.
That isnt the reason and i think that you have to know a persons situation before acting like this and responding like you did. Its hard and im a young women with time i should be spending with my fiance and daughter/what ever i think you met the rubber already
Sorry if I misunderstood you, but every time I have read one of your posts, it's about money. That's the only reason I said that.
if you dont have time for u r father cuz u have a small child and a soon tobe husband then i would think naheaton is right , take your father to one of those homes and that way you dont have no responsiblity on your hands .
you be free to do whatever you want . but please do ck upon ur father and make sure hes well taken care of .
if u continue to take car eof ur father i wouldnt worry about the gas for cars etc after all he took care of u overthe years while u were growing up .
my father doesnt think about money or whatever cuz his mind is not what it used to be , i dont say anything , he often ask me if i have money to get him a sandwhich from mcdonald , yes pa i have money , it makes him happy . . their mind is not like we have now , its going down to infant stage mind .
best bet is to accept the fact or put him into a home .
Ahhhh Crystal I'm with Naheaton on this. Your post seem a little onesided to me as well. YOu seem to be more interested in enjoying YOUR life and I just don't get the impression there's much compassion for your father.

Granted you are young, with a young fiancee, and a young child. I wonder how you treat your dad? do you treat him as though he's a burden, do you treat him as though you're doing HIM the favor? do you suck your teeth, and him and haw when you have to do something for him and make him feel uncomfortable? If so, I too think he would be much better off, and probably much more happy if he went to assisted living. Atleast there he would be around people his own age and people who would be kind to him. I may be wrong but it doesn't seem like you're being very kind to him.

You know our children learn by example. They treat us the same way they see us treat our parents. That's what I'm always thinking and keeping in the back of my head.

If I'm out of line I apologize but it will give others something to think about if it doesn't pertain to you.

I wish you luck, peace, and good will. I wish your dad a great life.
Chrystal, I agree with everyone also, you're not willing or able to cope with the care of an aging/ill parent. You said it yourself "im a young women with time i should be spending with my fiance and daughter". Contact adult protective services, his doctor, social services, or go through the phone book and contact nursing homes. You need to get yourself together. You can't help anyone when you can't help yourself.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support