I am right in the middle of it with my Uncle. I was until yesterday both his Caregiver and POA's for health and finances.
My cousin is secondary on the General POA, but we flipped it yesterday. Initially, I was advised that I could do both, but later found out this as a conflict of interest, since he started living with me in April and started contributing financially to my household for room and board etc. in June. He is under 24 hour assisted living, we are trying to keep him at home with me, but I can't work fulltime. No FMLA would be available for me caring for an Uncle. One goal: he'll go part time to adult day center, so I can work part time.
We will meet with an elder law attorney next week to set up a legal family caregiver contract, which I only found out about recently, by asking a lot of questions. If he should need Medicaid help at some point, we will have to be in compliance with their guidelines. I will need to pay taxes on the money he contributes and this amount will have to comply with what Medicaid would approve of. It’s sad because its retirement money, so what do you do.
“Give back to Caesar, what is Caesar’s and to God what is God’s.” Mark 12:17 NIV
It's a mess but you can't give up. We live in Iowa and last Thursday our newspaper reported on the nursing homes in our state. Iowa received a grade of F! We are trying to avoid it and he will thrive better, if he is cared for by family. If we place him in a nursing home they take all his money, but with me it will be a reasonable amount and he can keep a nice portion to do as he pleases.
People did not have to jump hoops to take care of family in the past, but today you do, because of people who commit fraud against the elderly. Hope some of what I am going through with my Uncle can help someone else. I have not found a how to book on any of this.