I want my husband to come back and live with me, but what I WANT might not be the best choice. What should I do?
My husband is in a nursing home. I had him admitted 1 1/2 yrs. ago. He was diagnosed with "alcohol dementia." Yes, he went through a bout of drinking; after being sober for 11 yrs. Depression and pain were the culprits. After almost losing him to that, I thought it best he go to the home. But I've missed him since. And I feel I can do as well as them as far as his care goes. I know HE would feel better being here also. He requires much needed assistance. In and out of bed, bathing, potty, etc. About all he does for himself is feeding. I prepare, of course. I miss his presence. I must admit; I don't miss the changing of his dirty pads.. His ambulatory issue has digressed. I had him home for a night recently and I realized how little help he gives when standing. I had to hoist him down our ramp to get him into the car. Which is another issue. I would need a wheelchair accessible van to transport him. That really is my issue right now. I'm unaware of the help he may be eligible for; such as purchasing a van or having a ramp put on one, etc. We have insurance that would take care of things like lifters, etc. (tricare, medicare.)
I've told my concerns to many and they all say I should leave him there;"best place for him, and he has 24hr care,etc". Doesn't help my guilt issue. Yes, I probably should talk to the hospice chaplain of my concerns... 'cause my guilt concerns DO border on my vows- through sickness and in health, til DEATH do us part...
Why can't life have simple decision matters with simple easy to acquire ANSWERS?!
I'm open to suggestions