Visited Mom's dr. yesterday and think some discretion needs to be used.


I talked to the dr. about my mother's current issues and he briefly checked her (about 1 minute) and said "dementia" but didn't address this. I have recognized the signs for quite a while so that's no surprise, but she heard him. I am now dealing with the fall-out of how awful she feels about this.

I think he should've talked to me privately so as not to upset her needlessly.

Anyone have any suggestions so this doesn't happen in the future.

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I explained ( with humor) to my mother that we all suffer "memory loss" as we reach middle age (though few admit it).
It's nothing to be ashamed of and forgetting things only makes the bad or sad slip away from our minds quicker.I also explained it can be used as a convenient excuse when she doesn't want to do something.
There are up sides to dementia!
For instance she could have told her doctor that she is forgetful not deaf and perhaps his disregard for her feelings may be a sign of dementia / alzheimers .
onset and could she used her dementia as an excuse to critisize his behavior with impunity.

Let me endorse that...she needs a new doc!

Exactly what I was thinking, texarkana. Some doctors are very competent but have terrible bedside manners. People trained in working with old people are usually more kind. Something I have found that helps when someone is told they have dementia is minimizing its scariness by talking about how many people have it. It is nice to not feel alone, particularly when it is an early stage.

Call and ask to speak with just him and voice your concerns. Sorry to say but he probably didn't mean any harm.Some MDs have the tact of a blind elephant.Also I would maybe start checking around for a MD that specializes in geriatric medicine and also in dementia, they will be more sensitive to this problem.

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