My narcissistic mother lives with me. She is only 68 and has ALWAYS been a mean vicious miserable person. I am in my 40's and feel stuck. I don't bring anyone over because she finds fault with everyone. She doesn't like anyone. I mean no one! This includes all the people at her church and in 50 years of going it hasn't made her a nicer person. She has no friends and is negative ALL the time. She has no income and no other housing alternatives. She didn't plan for her retirement because her religion told her the world was coming to an end (they have been wrong 5 times).....well that didn't happen and now she is stuck with me. I work 60 hours a week and come home to her, between my stressful job, commute, bills AND her. Its really hard on me. I have one brother, who is a complete loser and can't count on him for anything. I took care of my abusive alcoholic father until he died, now her and for awhile even my brother. I don't want to feel sorry for myself. But.....when is it 'me' time? My mother's father is 91 and still doing really well. She is only 68! I feel like a doormat for my family and have cut my brother off permanently because I am tired of taking care of grown adults. I have financially assisted my immediate family since I was 15. I am frustrated and concerned this could go on for another 25 years. Anyone else in a similar situation?
Listen, Grasshopper. ;) In all probability your mother is suffering from a mental illness...at the very LEAST life-long untreated depression. You are absolutely positively NOT obligated to care for OR support mom.
If I were you -- even if you make no changes -- I would contact your area's senior services dept . . . May be at the township or county level, whatever. And make an appointment for YOU as the caregiver for a senior. Find out how you may be able to extricate yourself from this nightmare without your mother becoming homeless.
I think you'll find it's possible. And with THAT knowledge, one of two things may happen. #1--Since knowledge is power, you may find it eases your burden and thus may make no changes. #2--finding out you can free yourself may encourage you to do just that.
Doing nothing to help yourself would be very sad.
It is sad to see you in so much pain
I wish I could quickly make life happy again
The path to freedom is clear by approaching it logically
I want to help you make it better and get yourself free
There must be 50 ways to leave an abusive mother!
Just use the key, called boundary
And get yourself free!
There must be 50 ways to leave an abusive mother!
I wish you the very best in your journey.