I feel that I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown and then I won't be any good to mom or anyone else.

Started by

Mom is 84, dad is 91 and dad has alzheimer's, mom is showing signs of dementia, I am the daughter and caregiver. mom has home care for pills Mom is afraid that someone is casing her home to break in and hurt her. She called the police because I did not show up at 5 and thought something happened to me. The police were waiting for me to arrive and asked me if she is a little confused. I have had to stay at her house so that she can sleep for fear that something could happen during the night. I am burnt out. My brother and I have found a retirement residence for her and we can move her anytime, but how do we do it. We require mom to write a cheque for $500 to cover the damage deposit and sign the paperwork as we do not have guardianship. She said she needs a couple of years to make the decision to move??? She lives alone in the house. We have turned off the gas stove because she left it on and gas filled the house. She was not taking her medication so I arranged for home care to come in to assist me. I see her wearing the same clothes all the time although she is clean, she is very forgetful. My brother and I are just looking at how to actually move her. I am worried about myself as I feel that I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown and then I won't be any good to her or anyone else.


3931 helpful answers
Vickie, please call your local social services and ask them to check on your mom's welfare. They may be able to force a move, especially since there's been a police call. Also, get her doctor involved. You need third party help to get her moved before you totally break down. This is best for all of you.
Take care of yourself, please,
I agree with Carol. Solicit outside help. Social Services can help make recommendations and take the necessary steps so that they are both in a living arrangment that is safe for them and comforting to you. Mentally, it also will help a little by take the complete owness off of you and your brother. I think ur doing the right thing. Also, I'm sure you are, but be grateful that you and your brother and on the same page. Can I borrow him??

Peace, SS
Talk to her doctors, they can deam her, mentally unfit to make desitions. Then you can have a legal desition to give you the power of attorney. So you won't need her signature.
And.....Don't feel guilty... For anything that you are doing to help your parents. Great advice for you in above posts. Good luck! You are a good, faithful, and loving daughter.
I don't understand if you have homecare coming in they should be checking out the gas and even cooking for her so she does not even have to cook. Besides pill reminders they also bathe and change clothes. My mom's caregiver changes her clothes every day even if they are clean and if she likes it or not...lol! How often is the homecare there?

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support