Venting to you cuz my husband is tired.

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Childish. Me, or her? My mom had a dog for 14 years. Dog died. 2 years pass, she gets a shelter pup. Mom is 72. The pup was a jack russell mix and an absolute maniac. Mom had bloody cuts and scratches all over her arms and legs befire i said, "no more". So she took the dog back to the shelter. Fast forward......i bought my mother a mini dachshund puppy. She won't housetrain it. If we try, we hear "i thought it was MY dog" Won't let us train it at all. My grandkids, being kids want to play with the dog. Mom says to them, "can i have MY dog now?"
When she moved in with my husband and i, we got rid of our dishes, our pots and pans, our furniture ....she started out paying part of the rent, but since we have bought a house, she pays only her own personal bills then blowz the rest of her check on junk food and clothes. She doesn't go anywhere to neex clothes. Most days she doesn't bother getting out of her pajamas. She smokes. So do i, but since she's usually broke 2 weeks after she gets her check, she wants me to buy her cigarettes. She has her own car, but if she wants to go anywhere, she tells me to drive her. My husband is a truck driver, and i like to go with him, but she acts like I'm abandoning her to be with him. She buts in when the grandkids try to talk to me as if I'm too stupid to speak for myself. She makes cracks about me being overweight, which i am, but she's mean about it. I told her once that it hurt my feelings, and she laughed at me. She has taken over my house, that i have waited for thru 30 years of marriage. If she wants to take a nap (and she does 3 times a day at least in the living room) the entire household has to shut down and woe to the person who wakes her up.
I feel petty, I feel childish, and I feel selfish. But d*mmit it's my house. If my husband or i go into the kitchen, she's on our heels wanting to know what we're doing. It's a constant struggle to remember that I'm 49 years old instead of 12. If i turn a light on, she wants to know why. And I pay the d*mned light bill!! Sometimes i want to scream. I want to tell her to get the h*ll out. But she can't afford her own place. My sister's husband said he would leave if mom came to live with them, and both of my brothers simply say" hell no. But thanks for taking care of her for us". My dad is my escape. He lives 2 hours away and tells me to come anytime. But mmost of the time when i make plans to go, she says she's going with me. They've been divorced for 32 years. He does not want her at his house. So sometimes i have to cancel going to dads because of her. I can't make myself intentionally hurt her feelings. And i can't sit her down and talk to her. She doesn't believe it, she won't listen, and she gets hateful. I have found that life is easier if i just let her rule the roost, but i am miserable, and seriously considering taking up drinking. The only thing stopping me is i hate drunks.

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I cannot imagine any animal shelter handing over a Jack Russell puppy to a senior citizen who is in their 70's. Russell's live up to 16 years. They are very high spirited, need a lot of walking, and need to live with an owner who is very active.
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You know, when I first found this site, I was looking for validation of my hostile attitude towards family members who were dealing with personality disordered/demented MIL. What I got was a message if "don't blame the caregiver/if you can't help, don't hurt". It was a powerful and effective message. I continue to be grateful for it and hope that cm can see the love and wisdom of the questions posed to her.
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I didn't read any rough comments. They must have been deleted. I know cmefup won't be back, but I do see this as a very good vent because I have many of the same problems here. I could have written her message, only I live in my mother's house, instead of her living in mine. It is hard on us when someone occupies the whole house all the time. I feel for cmefup, especially since her mother is only 72 and seems to be very dominant. Sometimes we just need to vent while we're working through things.
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I was thinking that maybe all your sibs could contribute $$ to getting her a mobile home. I think it's totally unfair that this is all left on your shoulders and I can understand how hard it is to deal with a difficult parent. But bottom line I do think gaining the control of YOUR home back and figuring out strategies with your sibs to take load off you!
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cme, it is natural for us to ask all of these questions. When we answer one of the first places we look is on your profile to see what issues you are dealing with.
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I'm done. Please don't waste your time responding. I won't see it. I won't be back.
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My kids are grown. No one expects her to babysit. She jyst takes over. I did not make her take back the shelter dog. She did it on her own rather than let us train it, and by doing so it allowed her to tell everyone that i made her do it. I would have gotten her another shelter dog had they had something other than huge pitbull mix type dogs. Pitbulls are fine, im not looking for an argument there. I would just rather have a small dog that can get used to kids because my grandkids are here often.
I know the difference between a person who drinks and a drunk. I have personal and long term history with both.
I do not expect my parents to be friends. They are civil to each other. Maybe you misunderstand....my dad dies not want her tgere, but she wanrs to go. Which puts me in the middle, just like when i was a kid.
Wow. I was told that this was a good place to vent. I do not feel "supported". Cmagnum seems to be the only person that gets it. But that's ok. My mom zeroes in on just what she wants to use against me, too. I'm used to it.
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Let's start with why she's there. When you all moved in together, what was the plan?
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this might be off subject and trivial but id never refer to a heavy set person as ( fat ) . thats a very offensive term... its as bad as calling a person who drinks , a ( drunk ) .
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I'm rather out of it tonight. So please ignore my post. I've reported my post to the moderators and asked them to remove it. Sorry.
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