I'm sorry, folks, my past 3 or maybe it was only 2 (I can't remember) days have been so awful this is the first I've been on the site for a while.
For months I have been writing out Mother's checks. For a while she signed them and then I started signing her name on them. However, sometimes in paying the bills, it got so normal that sometimes I'd sign my name. So, I decided I need to take the POA which I finally accepted about 6 months ago, but Mother had the foresight to do 13 years ago, to the bank.
Well, I walked into the bank with a check for her monthly money and the POA and explained to the guy what I was doing. The one branch had told me all I needed to do was present the POA and all would be fine. He said "the same person who filled out the check, signed it." I said yes, I did, but I have this POA. Well, he tells me he can't accept it; I have to talk with an officer. OMG, it had been so bad I lost it. The way he said it got me really upset. I start saying fine give me an GD officer, and I start crying and a little cursing -- thank goodness no one else was in the bank at the time. Well, long sorry short, the bank will not accept the POA because the checking account is in a trust and a trust can't have a POA. This stupid woman officer sits there and says how she understand; I say no you don't. You have no idea the pressure & stress I'm under and you won't help me on account of a stupid technicality. My Mother has over $12K in just a checking account on which you pay only $1.04 interest a month, but you are probably making a lot more money on by loaning it to other people. They refused to cash the check. Refused to honor the POA. So, I grabbed the check, went to another branch, walked in and acted like a normal month and at least they cashed it. OMG, it was not pretty, but I don't care. My Mother is the most important thing, not my reputation in this stupid town.
Well, the next day, I took Mother to the bank, had a check written out but not signed and had her sign it in front of the clerk. The bank had suggested I go to an attorney and have paper drawn up putting me as trustee on the trust. Why should I pay for an attorney on something I can skirt around. Thank goodness we switched all the CDs to dividend bearing stocks years ago or that stupid dang bank would be making even more money off her.
Thank goodness, Mother had a lucid moment and said in the car, "Tell me what we are doing so I don't have to ask in front of the bank people"...lol...I was so proud of her. All went well. We withdrew all the money except for about $300. We went to another bank opened a new checking account and they accepted the POA because that account is not in the trust. Problem might be that account will have to go through probate because it is not in the trust. But if I see death is coming, I'll close the account. Plus she has a stock money market account to pay everything anyway. I'm just so angry at that bank I can't tell you. Nothing but a case of CYA!
As soon as I get her SS check and her pension check direct deposit switched to the new bank checking account, I will also close my account and switch my stuff. Show that stupid bank what they can do with their technicalities.
Sorry folks, didn't mean to go on or vent so much. Some times it is just very cathartic for me to type out my feelings. Plus, I just found out yesterday, that Mother's blood work -- she's lost 7 pounds in 3 months and I asked a question on OTC appetite increasers -- was not good. Her white blood cell count is down to 910. We are doing a recheck on Monday. This is a woman who is on fewer meds than me for my cardiac stent and, except for knee replacement surgery 3 years ago, has never been in the hospital except for having her children.
I know a lot of people on here have not so many funds and I apologize for venting on a different problem. I'm amazed my folks built up the money they did. My Dad was just a milkman who delivered milk and my Mother a part time seamstress, neither made near the money I have in a yearly salary, but geez were they able to save. I doubt I'll be in as good a financial shape.
I'm sorry, the progression of this disease has me just flabbergasted and .... at a loss for words. Thanks to all for being there and letting me vent.