Valuable consideration in home for caregiving for Mother.

Started by

My mother's home has been titled in both of our names as joint tenants with right of survivorship since December 2014. I have been living with my mother since 2007 providing care for both her and my late father (he passed in 2010) since 2009. My mother wanted to title the home in both our names to show her appreciation for my care, and because she was worried about what would happen to me after her death as I could only work part time since 2010 due to having to care for her. My income was greatly reduced. My younger daughter (age 21) also lives with us and helps with care. My mother has been completely bed bound since November 2014, and just recently developed a bedsore. The home care agency that we were referred to called Social Services for the State of Connecticut as they were concerned that my mother is sometimes alone when I work or have to run errands. Social Services is forcing her to go on Medicaid which will give her full time care. I have been very overwhelmed with caring for my mother, especially this last year. My concern is what will happen to the home, which is our only asset? I know that Medicaid will take out of the home the cost of caring for my mother. I was told that I could apply for valuable consideration proving that my care has kept her out of a nursing home for the past six years. Has anyone had any experience with having to prove that their care has kept a parent out of a nursing home? I have literally given up my life in caring for my mother. I cannot work full time, have any kind of social life and my finances are depleted because of not being able to work full time. I am fortunate to work 25 hours. I am 60 years old, and my mother is 87. I am burnt out, worried, anxious and I am afraid my health and well being are at stake. The home needs a lot of work, but could probably sell in this area for at least $400,000 as is.


I am in the exact same predicament except for Social services is not involved. My mother needs me 24/7. I have been concerned about this for a while so I hope someone with information joins in this discussion.
Su, Medicaid is administered differently depending on which state you are in. First my suggestion is to obtain an attorney that specializes in elder law and specifically Medicaid. One licensed by National Association of Elder Law Attorneys would be my recommendation. They complete necessary training and number of years of practice to receive this certification.

In my state after providing medically necessary care for a period of two years the home can be given to the family caregiver. I would think that the medically necessary would be relatively easy to show with doctor's letters, etc. In my state, it must be a nursing home, assisted living or memory care would not meet the Medicaid regulations.

How long have you been providing the care? What are Mom's conditions? I'm am sure that her doctor has documented her visits and who was present with her. Are there others that would provide information related to the care you have provided?
I have been providing care since 2009. That's the year my father had a major stroke. I'm hoping I can be compensated from the sale proceeds for the care I've provided.
Su, you will not be compensated. You best chance at compensation is to try to get the home. Then pay others their fair share upon sale, after deducting payment to you for those years.
So many parents think that giving full title or half title of their home to a grown child that the home will eventually go to that child free and clear.... but how many of us think ahead 5 years or 10 years when money runs out or a higher level of care is needed and Medicaid needs to be called in. This becomes all new to us.

It all depending on how your State has Medicaid set up, hopefully the State will view it as you had kept your Mom out of a nursing home for x number of years, so they might not even touch the house. As recommended above, consult an Elder Law attorney.

suhara, my concern is that you work part-time, do you have full coverage health insurance? It is so very important to have that at your age, as you still have 5 more years before you can be covered by Medicare.

Yes, caregiving [on-hands or logistical] can cause our own health to decline... I am just a few years older than you and have been through the wringer the past 6 years, all of which is stress related. I firmly believe that senior citizens should not be caring for older senior citizens !!! We just don't have the energy we had years ago. We burn out a lot quicker. There are times I think my parents [mid-90's] will outlive me :(

If I can prove I kept her out of nursing home, I can get compensated for that. Yes, I have health insurance. I have not neglected myself. I make sure I take care of myself.
No. If you are successful in getting an exception from MERP then you can receive the house. Nobody calculates any compensation. The house is yours.

Please take seriously the advice to consult an Elder Law attorney. The cost will be well worth it if it saves you from making expensive mistakes.
I wasn't very clear when I said compensation. I meant that the state would calculate the cost of keeping my mother out of a nursing home the years I cared for her. When they force a sale of the home upon her passing, from the sale proceeds I would get that amount. After reading some of your comments, I believe I have a right to keep the home. I am going to call an elder care attorney. I moved in to the house in 2007, provided assistance to both parents, when my father died in 2010, I provided care to my mother. She has gotten progressively worse since then, and is now completely bedridden. I haven't been able to work full time thus jeopardizing my own financial future. I believe I am entitled to the home.
Good for you Su!

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support