Update on the in-laws.

Started by

My FIL is in the hospital. He fell while walking towards the entrance of Walmart and hit his head on a planter. My mother in law became combative with his nurses , the police were called and was she taken away by ambulance to be evaluated. They first did a physical evaluation and is now headed to a .pyschiatric hospital . Thank God! Even though we are listed as medical POA no one called us about any of this. My husband was concerned when he couldn't reach them by phone last night ,tried early this morning and then called the police. The police told him all I can say is that I've been dealing with them a lot , try the hospital. It took a while to track them down as no one wanted to give out info. but he finally talked to the rt. person who let the whole story spill. I'm hoping we can figure out how to pay for nursing care, their social security won't go far.


my oldest son was a medic first responder for a few years in gary indiana . he explained to me that he was trained to ask elders a few general questions to see if they were aware of the present . if they were , poa had no power whatsoever .
i think this is a good thing because my biggest fear would be someone trying to make decisions on my behalf -- even if i was out of it .
my mother had the foresight to have a springing poa . its a beautiful thing . if she was unconscious , i had authority . the moment she bacame aware again i was relegated to back seat driver again .
indiana laws struggled to provide this accomodation to her . thats how far ahead of her time that she was .
Sorry, the folks you want to talk to are the social workers/discharge planners in both facilities. My family has been blessed with GREAT social workers at most of the hospitals and rehab facilities she's been in, and they've given us enormous amounts of guidance.

A brief tip. if your in-laws can private pay for a year or so, there are many NHs that will accept Medicaid AFTER a period of private pay. I first ran into this when my mom was in the hospital, post stroke, post rehab, post first AL and then post hip fracture. The discharge planner gave us a form that asked about mom's assets; my brother and I both got our backs up, buy my SIL the CPA said "they need to know this stuff" and deftly listed mom's assets. The discharge planners comment was, oh good, she's got a couple of years of private pay, that will get her into a better facility now that will accept Medicaid when the money runs out. This was simply something that was not on our radar. Mom's is still in the NH nearly 3 years later, still private pay.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support