Sort of an update on grandfather/father and my life.

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My dad is worse, everyday he gets weaker because of his heart. The Dr gave him meds but its not helping. Yes, he goes back soon to the Dr soon.

As far as my grandfather, a lot came to a halt this past week. As I mentioned, my son has ADHD, violence, Sleep issues etc. Well, my grandfather doesn't want him there but yet doesn't want him to be with my ill dad. He is realizing that I cant just "drop" what Im doing and go out to shops..appts etc depending on my sons moods. Now, I have to figure this issue out anyways because I have to work and if I dont go in to work, I get fired! So a normal daycare IDK how that would work. I may need a sitter.

As far as care for my grandfather I am still mainly the one 15 plus hours a day total. Incl solid nights. I looked at live ins which might be a little cheaper but after seeing a live in nanny for a family who got fired wouldn't leave, ( they have to go to court to evict her) I decided that's not a good idea! He still refuses extra care,, well except hes looking at other transportation ways as I mentioned before. In fact I should be there now, and feel bad Im not but my son was upsetting him.

I feel he shouldn't be alone but if the Dr agrees with him, what can I do? I have started to look for a job and I told him this, plus, what do I do if its at night? My kids can stay with my dad or go to a friends house. But my grandpa?

Will those surveillance cameras help? Do I ask for his approval to install them? I guess so because it would be invasion of privacy if I didn't right? Its not the same as having someone there but it would help?


I don't know what school district you are in, but here in NY even a preschool aged child is entitled to services, including kids with ADHD. These are smaller classrooms, with aides, and they work on socialization that is challenging for ADHD and autism spectrum children. It would give you a break, get you to work without interruption.
Grandpa needs aides and possibly a visiting nurse, but those would be ordered by his doctor. For transportation, check your county to see if they have a senior van service. That would be much cheaper than a private chauffeur, who usually gets $25/hr plus mileage. Housekeeping once a week would be good enough for basic cleaning and getting his laundry done. Again check your county social services for help.
Thanks pamstegman, Im sorry its basically repeat, it was just crazy with the yelling matches between the adults and my son...and I just broke down. I didn't know where else to turn but here.

My son goes to a private school and although they don't have a special ed teacher( well a few have special training but not his grade) they do work with him. We got ready to switch schools before he was labeled ADHD thinking he was unhappy and he got depressed about the new school. So we kept him where he is at ( for now). He is on medication and does better when he does take it. Yes, but summer school they still get off.

My grandfather does have a visiting nurse once a week and one other "caregiver" twice a week for an hr ( suppose to be 3 as I mentioned before) each time. The caregiver he pays for out of his pocket ( shes not with an agency but is a CNA). That senior van service looks like a wonderful idea! I will search that right now! I will thanks again :)
Senior VAn, City Ride, ask a local AL what they use or suggest. They may have phone numbers for several companies. Some taxi services give senior discounts too, and if you find a driver you like, you may be able to contact them directly. Churches may have this service too.
You shouldn't discount the idea of hiring a nanny so quickly. The live-in nanny who refused to leave was an unusual case. Most nannies who are hired through a reputable agency are highly professional and would never do such a thing. The nannies who make the news because they murder their charges or commit other criminal acts are the exception rather than the rule.

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