Untreated bipolar, alcoholic sis caregiver.
I am one of 5 siblings. We live 1 1/2 hours to 8 hours away from parents except for youngest 53 yr. old sis who is unemployed and lives with parents. Dad diagnosed with Dementia 3years ago and is mid-stage while Mom, 85, we strongly suspect has had mini stroke. Struggles to put sentences together, forgetful and easily confused. Sister is dual diagnosed bipolar alcoholic who denies this and is untreated. My other siblings and I feel Sis is doing the minimum she can. We want her to take a stronger stand and get on a schedule where they take their meds daily, shower a couple of times a week, get medical care even when they refuse (Sis gives up and Mom just had bronchitis and pneumonia because she would not go. Another sib went to visit and MADE her go see doc) fix at least one decent meal a day, clean a bit. I live 8 hours away and drove to see them last week but only gave them 1 hour notice to see what conditions were like. Had to scrub potty before I would use it, etcetera. Sharing our concerns with Sis is met with defense and pronounced paranoia. She lies and has tried to start trouble between each of us to deflect her problems. Parents did not plan at all for retirement and very little money. The sibs can do a little but not much. We are checking into caregivers but money is an issue for us. We are also concerned about Sis when parents are gone as none of us will take her in. She has 3 degrees but cannot hold down a job. How can we get help for parents and make, force or require Sis to get treatment? Our pleading does no good and Mom backs Sis and thinks she does a great job. Refuses to see lack of care and finds excuses for everything. Dad's dementia diagnosed 3 years ago and neither have read anything on disease, joined support groups or sought help from social agencies despite our giving them many resources.