Don't understand what is happening to my mom.
To make a long story short: My mom is in her late 70s and frail. Never took care of herself physically. Otherwise a healthy eater, although an alcoholic. 18 mos ago she had 2 sqamous cell growths removed from her face and head. The growths were there at least 10 years but she refused to have a dr look at them until one became infected and began to smell. She went through 36 radiation tx. Fell numerous times at home during the past 2 years, hurt ribs, back and neck. Would try PT but always stopped after the first few sessions b/c she claimed they were hurting her. She is now so stooped over she cannot see much above my knee-level and shuffles her feet to walk. Her arms and legs are so weak she cannot get out of chairs, off the toilet, or even feed herself very well. Her personality has also changed (for the worse) over the past few years.
Anyhow, mom fell down the stairs at home 10 days ago. Dad call 911, she went to the hospital, was transferred b/c of small bleed in brain. That resolved, but she has been in and out of consciousness ever since. Listens to my dad and will squeeze his hand in response, but does not open her eyes unless he opens them for her and then she will hold them open for 1-2 minutes. She had a UTI (rec'd antibiotics) and is now being treated for pneumonia. Has breathing tube and feeding tube (hiatal hernia - wasn't able to swallow at hospital - also an ongoing 30+ year old issue that she never sought tx for). I know she was frail going in, but I don't understand what seems to be a coma-like state. I don't mean this to sound odd, but is she dying? Is this what happens? She was not strong to begin with.
Dad keeps asking dr's at the hospital when she's coming home and I think he's being blind about the reality. I just wish I knew more about what to expect -- possible/likely outcomes -- when a frail parent falls and is hospitalized and suddenly starts sleeping / semi-conscious state.
I live far away and am trying to do as much as I can over the phone with Dad and occasionally talking with the nurses. What should I be asking? What should I be preparing for?
Thanks so much for reading this far!