Trying to understand competency and a person's wishes.
The situation is that I have financial and medical POA for my Mom. She has been asking me to help her sell her house and we have finally gotten around to starting that.
Meanwhile, my brother doesn't want us to sell the house. He is questioning her competency to have signed the POA. Now, I don't know if I should move ahead.
A lawyer did suggest I get her competency "recorded" by her primary care physician. We do have an appointment coming up within the next couple weeks, but she wants to move forward with the house and I don't know if I should force her to wait until the appointment with her doctor.
Here's where the issue for me is:
Mom has mild dementia and terrible memory loss. Most days, she does understand the POA does understand the details of how to sell her house and what she wants to do. She doesn't remember all of it, sometimes, but she does understand.
Unfortunately, since she does have mild dementia, on her "bad" days, she is angry about what I'm doing and doesn't want me doing it. On her "bad" days, she would probably undo it all. There are lots more "good" than "bad" days, but I'm not sure if that matters.
So, the POA is meant for me to carry out her wishes. My brother's point is that, on some days, she doesn't actually WANT me to get the house sold (usually, with him harping at her about it, but I'm not sure if that matters, either). I guess I'm thinking I should go by what she tells me she wants if she wants it i90% of the time.
I realize I'd get more information after her medical exam lists more details around her competency and probably as I work more with a lawyer, but I don't sleep nights waiting for all this. Any advice, thoughts, information to pass along?