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My mother is stressed out because she wants to leave the ALF, I want to take care of her but she has a court guardian that wants her to stay where she is. My sister petitioned the court to find my mother incompetent, the guardian sold my mother's house got rid of everything and put her in ALF. All my mother wants is to live with me, I am competent and have many people to vouch for me. This guardian is only after her own agenda she makes 45.00 to 75.00 an hour whatever she does in relation to my mother. They have appointed a court monitor to investigate because my brother and I have complained about the guardian. She has falsely accused me of things.... because I asked questions, she has limited me to 1 visit a week and 2 calls... She says when I leave the next morning my mother doesn't want to eat.... the reason my mother doesn't want to eat is because she wants to leave the alf and live with me they are keeping her against her will. I would like to trust the court system but I don't because of the strange questions. There is so much more to this story. Basically the guardian is about ISOLATE,MEDICATE, LIQUIDATE! the judges and everyone knows this goes on and no one does anything... These professional guardians need more accountability and LESS POWER! This is a disgrace to the USA

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When I visited my mother Frid. I know sooner got into her room and the owner of the facility came in and yelled at us, he said, "you two get out of here" I was putting my things down, my mother 's roommate thought he was yelling at her, (she was getting therapy). then a minute later he was back he yelled again," I am talking to you two get out of here now! Then I thought maybe he didn't want anyone in the room while my mother's roommate was getting therapy. We weren't going to stay in there anyway I always try to get my mother out of her room it is depressing there is no window and it is dark. I brought her ice cream which we were going to the dining room. Before we left for the dining room I discovered her walker was no where around , looked then I asked the caregiver she said it was by the table she sits at I brought it to her and then we went to the dining room for ice cream. When we got there I saw on the wall a large paper saying my mother could only have visitors in a public area, so I assume this is why the owner yelled. My mother's guardian never said anything. She is seeking revenege because my brother and I turned her in for being unethical, I know she is going to ban me all together from seeing my mother this guardian is a total disgrace. Also on the sign it said no visitors after 6:00pm the guardian knows I stay usually till 7:30. The owner should of came in the room and told us politely instead of acting like an unprofessional person. Is there anyone I could turn the owner of the ALF into, he not only yelled at me he yelled at my mother and even if it was just me yelling is frightening to her... I wonder what goes on in this place if the owner acts like this. He never did apologize for losing all my mother's things including her luggage and a special photo of my mother and dad. I pray the court monitor advised the judge to release this guardian if not I certainly believe the court system is corrupt. I am going to contact the court monitor Monday, she finished her report so she probably won't talk to me but if she answers the phone I will tell her about the incident. If she doesn't speak to me I will call the inspector general to report the guardian again. If anyone knows whom I would report the ALF to please advise. any if appreciated This guardianship abuse needs to Stop!
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Ingrid, sorry about the situation with your dad. It seems all to much of this is going on with these professional guardians I 'm sure there are some good ones but most of the professional ones are the ones that are basically unethical and abusive. I use abusive because when I checked it with Elder Affairs they determine abusive by the guardians limiting the family visitation, not doing what the person they are in charge of wants. My mother's guardian is paid 45.00 to 75.00 an hour which is outrages to my brother and myself since she does nothing but pay my mother's bills and herself. You can turn the guardian into the guardianship complaint Association ( should be one where you live ) That is what we have done, now we are just waiting to hear from the judge. When you turn the guardian in they info goes to the courts they determine if it is worthy to look into, then they asign a court monitor to investigate then she reports what she thinks to the judge then he makes a decision. If this doesn't work see if they have in your area pro bono lawyers that is what I am going to do if the judge decides my mother has to stay where she is. God Bless we have to keep trying
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teacher - that's my experience too (TX, LA). Judge usually defaults to family first.

ingrid - if an outside guardian has been appointed, you have to go to court to file a petition for a hearing to have it changed and you really need to have an attorney represent you. If the guardianship is such that your dad is now a "ward of the state", the judge is going to want to see pretty overwhelming reason to change his decision. I have not been a guardian but was executrix twice and spent more hours in probate court (where guardianships are also heard) than I can remember and what seems to happen with outside guardians is that the family is not 100&1% behind the family member who wants to be guardian & there is family infighting in the courtroom then the Judge will have none of that in his courtroom and appoints an outsider, usually this is temporary to give family time to get their act together. Sometimes there is an issue of suitability for legal guardianship with family, like there are bankruptcies, foreclosures, really bad credit report, IRS lien (all this shows to the judge you cannot handle finances) or felonies or other police records that show up when the court is vetting you and your spouse if you are married or with your kids if they live in the home (like your 16 yr old has a juvee records). The judge can overlook these sort of problems if you let the court know this in the petition but if you did NOT include the info on the guardianship petition the Judge has no sense of humor if that happens and will name an outside guardian and those issues will keep you from ever getting guardianship.

Whatever the case, you have to have an attorney to represent you and do the speaking for you, you cannot be standing up and saying "She lie to court about my father family. She hates for us"....etc as that is essentially saying to the judge that he doesn't know what he is doing as he made the appointment of guardian. Whatever the case, you kinda need to make nice and do whatever to get along with the guardian and don't be ugly with her. Remember she is getting paid to record all related to your dad and reporting this to the court in a legal document, you don't want it so that the report shows that you were interfering with dad's care.
I'd like to suggest to you that you and another family member ask the guardian if she could request an extended family meeting (like a care plan) so the NH can explain what is going on with your dad and you sit there and take it all in without fighting and keep your questions to a minimum. This shows you want to work with her and want to understand your dad's situation and could be the start of her reporting positives on you so the guardianship can be transferred to you with documentation. Good luck.
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Ingrid---How did the state get guardianship of your father? If there is family, family always has the first choice of it..in KS anyway.
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Stay strong! I want the guardian remove from my father. Want to get an attorney but cost so much. The state guardian do not want my father family to have a relationship with him. She lie to court about my father family. She hates for us to ask questions about my father care. She will not allow us to go on doctors visits, she has stop the family from going to his care plan, we do not know our father is in the hospital when he has to go. He is at the hospital by himself. It appears she does not care and doing everything in her power to stop the family from having a closer relationship with him. We want guardian back. There is no reason the state should have my father. He has family want to take care of him. We will continue to flight to have a close relationship with our father no matter how much the state guardian trying to stop us.
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eileen15---You are on the right track!!!
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My sister petitioned the court to find my mother incompetent, I was getting an attorney but my sister turned my mother against me...My mother would not speak to me or my brother for 3 months. My sister always had a way with my mother my mother did what my sister wanted because my sister would go into a rage if she didn't get her way, my mother new my sister had a mental problem. Had my mother listened to my brother and she would not be in this situation. I was going for guardianship but when she would not speak to me I couldn't. My sister had it all planned she is very manipulative. Before the petition she called DCF they recommended my mother live with me and she told them she would in the near future this really set my sister off. I was DPOA which my sister didn't like I think she thought I would cut off all the money my mother would give to her, if my mother's dementia got worse. I did turn the guardian into the guardianship complaint dept. the court monitor just finished her report, so now we wait to see what the judge says. Hopefully they will let my mother go. I would like to trust the court system... but don't know if I do. The guardian isn't really considered if I can take care of my mother or not she is trying to get back at me for asking questions.
The guardian acted like she was going to let my mother leave the ALF until my brother asked why our mother didn't have her teeth attended to and why she had no glasses. That is when she started accusing.This guardian originally wanted me to move to Georgia and said my mother could go there because she didn't want my sister to have contact. Now she brought my sister back into the picture. This guardian does not know what she is doing. I did go see an attorney he said he would be take the case but if my sister and the guardian fight it could cost 20,000 or more just don't have that's why if the judge will just remove the guardian and appt. me this would be the best way to go. My mother just wants to be with her family and that is what we want.
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Your best bet is to hire an Elder Attorney and petition the probate court If you want her to live with you. or petition the courts for a new guardian. You also tal to some caregivers and spend some time with a few and see what they do. Believe me it is not an easy job to take on. Good luck. I hoe it will all work out for you.
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Eileen, How was your sister able to get this petition? And why, if there is more than one child, did no one else have a say in this legal matter??!! As for the so called "guardian" what a farce! I agree it is all about "themselves" not the ones th e court appointed them to "guardian"! I hpoe you can get some answers here.....Good luck and Godbless
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Eileen - I'm going to second Jessie Belle....why wasn't a family member appointed to be guardian? Usually the judge defaults to family.

Regarding what the guardian is doing, I was executrix for 2 aunts and spent more hours than I can even remember in probate court where also guardianship issues are heard. Often when there is family infighting or no one shows up for the scheduled hearing (especially sad when it's for a child - can you imagine!), the judge will appoint an outside either temporary or permanent guardian. They have a list of either attorneys or professionals (bonded, etc) at the ready to appoint for this who are paid from the individuals resources or the state. Unless there is a true estate (like significant assets - I'm remembering about 100K in liquid assets as the threshold), the state seems to prefer that the guardian liquidate all assets so the person is 100% no assets. It does make sense in the overall picture for the state - as once done required less management time and payment - but not for the family involved. Whatever the case, you really need legal to represent you in court on this. You want to find one that does probate court work regularly. One thing you can do is go on-line to your county records and search for other probate court legal filings. All this public record and just keystrokes away. What you will find is that there usually is just a few law firms that do the majority of these filings. You want to have one of those firms represent you as they know how to make things fly through the system. This in not the time to get an attorney who was your son's college roommate who does corporate law. Good luck.
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My first question is what stage of Alz is your mother in? Taking care of someone with Alz in middle to late stages is a great challenge. Sometimes people have a hard time doing it in their homes. Do you think the guardian might be concerned about this? As the dementia progresses, your mother will need 24/7 care with special accommodations.Does the guardian know that you will be able to provide those things your mother needs?

Sometimes guardians abuse their power, but other times they are doing what they think best for people placed in their charge. Perhaps you can show the guardian that you have all things arranged for your mother's present and future needs, and they will be comfortable letting her live in your home.

One question I had was why none of the family had applied for guardianship when it came up. It is hard to comment without a lot more information. If you mention to your mother when you visit that you want to bring her home, it will upset her and cause her to act out at the ALF. It may be the guardian feels limiting the visits are for the best if this happens. He/she would probably be acting under advisement from the staff of the ALF who experience the problems.

I hope that you will be able to work with the guardian and address any concerns. If you think the guardian is abusing their authority by spending the money wrong or making seriously bad decision, you can challenge the guardianship. You will need to make sure that you can provide the care your mother needs, though. It will not be easy. Sometimes love isn't enough.
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Forgot this----I was DPOA in 2005 and mom did live with me. She got so mean and hateful that I had to put her into an NH. Siblings have never been any help at all. I can't remember what happend in 2007 but I got upset at having to do EVERY single thing for mom with no help whatsoever from siblings..I was fed up. I went to SS and told them I no longer wanted to be Representative Payee for mom. They asked me if either sibling would want to be Rep payee and I told them I doubted it. They said they would give siblings an opportunity to be her Rep Payee and if neither of them wanted to that they would find an outsider person. They did. This person KEPT her MONEY that she was allowed each month..the 60.00..he also got PAID from SS for "handling her SS check each month"..that's how he handled it...KEEPING HER money for clothes, shoes, etc. So, I had to pay out of my pocket for this! I got mad again and went back to SS and told them I'd be Rep Payee again. These people that the SS gets to handle our elders SS checks in my book are nothing but thieves! AND they get PAID to be!!
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Keep up the good fight....with caution! The good thing about false allegations against you is they cannot be proven, but that doesn't make them less stressful and painful. In order to save your mom from undue stress, please be cautious in telling her that you will get her out no matter what or fuel her thought of getting out because you may be setting her up for an emotional crash. Reinforce to her that the facility has her best interest at heart and are taking good care of her and you are looking into options, with no promise. I see often where adult children think they are helping by feeding a small fear and it turns into the person not eating and having real fear that manifests. Don't badmouth anyone in front of her but certainly go after that guardian professionally if you feel there is a problem. If you have the means to support her, offer to not have access to her money, until time to read the will, if that's what it takes to get her home with you. Just imagine telling a child that the teacher was out to get her and the school is full of bad people and you will get them out to save them, knowing full well it won't be permitted, the stress and fear caused is harmful. You sound like a great child, I wish you the best.
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Is there any way that you can go to court and ask that the guardianship be transferred to you. YOU are her next of kin..her child and as such, you should have first say but you need the paperwork to back you up. I got DPOA when mom's dr. said she could no longer live on her own. Dr. sent her to a psych ward for evaluation and to get her stable. She was there 3 months and I visited her every other day..what a long drive. Anyway....that is when I got DPOA and have been since. A child of the elder should always have first choice of becoming guardian or POA. Not sure how the guardian got this status in the first place. You can fight it tho...hope you have some money for an attorney. Tell the attorney how your mom wants to live with you and you agree....how she is not happy where she is, etc. Shouldn't be hard to get it transferred to you. Best of luck and don't give up!!
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I agree with you. I pray changes come for you and your mother very soon. Continue to flight in every way for your mother. You are her true advocate.
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