Today is an "I want to scream" day.

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May be a "I'm just tired" day or something like that. With a brain damaged, completely bed-ridden father and a mother whose dementia is getting worse, there are just those days. I don't know that there is anything anyone can do. I just need to vent.
No matter what I do, meds don't get taken right. Everytime I walk in there is a mess to clean up. Seems like someone always needs me to cook, clean, shop, blah, blah, blah. I make plans to ensure there are always supplies. No one can even put a sticker on the "make me aware" board. Makes me want to scream. I cannot make it any easier. Sometimes I wonder, "If I didn't do this, what would happen?" I really do not know the answer to that. But, I know I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks for listening.


We have all had those days...let me tell you that about 2 months ago, I was so ready to throw in the towel...but hang in there. You are in the right place for listeners. We have a great group of people here that are all feeling your pain.
I'm sorry things are not going well for you. I understand completely the feeling. Its definitely not fun being the punching bag, nurse, shopper, maid, and most important caregiver. But you are doing what you can...that's all you can do. So give yourself credit. And if you won't me out. I will. Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs that I have ever done. And what makes it harder is that you are doing if for your parents, who may or may not know who you are. But a great big KUDOS to you! Because you are doing something wonderful...and it may not feel like it now. But you will be rewarded in the end.
If you don't already know...check into some Agencies of Area and Disabilities in your area. They have gov funded programs to help the caregiver get some respite. Or send people to help you get out and have some time away. I strongly recommend it. Good luck and God Bless.
notwellmyself, there's little that can gripe me more than seeing the kitchen I just cleaned up all cluttered again. And I don't know why the bathroom is clean one minute, dirty again the next. And I don't know why I am the only one who understands why the shopping list is on the refrigerator. I know what you mean, gf.
msdaisy I give you an A+ and a Gold Star!!!
notwellmyself In the Morning when you wake up say to yourself... "I made it through yesterday don't know how but ""Good for Me"" !!!!! "
When you go to sleep tonight say to yourself "I did everything I possibly could do today it was a crazy day but tomorrow I will wake and say Good for Me."
Thanks Msdaizy! We put Daddy in respite Thanksgiving because all the helpers left (I know they too need time with their families) & I knew I could no longer do it alone. Daddy was soooo mad. While he is in this mental state, we will not do that again. BUT, it had to be done. Let me restate that, I hope we do not have to do it again while he is in this stage. The respite people were so wonderful and truth is he was only left alone for a few hours. My mother stayed with him most of the time & I was there every day. I just could not take responsibility for 100% of his care.
We brought hospice in a few months ago and it was the best thing we could do at this stage. They have been so very helpful. We have 2 part-time caregivers I cannot live without. They are worth every penny and then some.
I just get so frustrated with the stage my mother is in. I know I need to be patient. Today was just hard. Maybe it was just this rainy weather. Who knows. She does things that I know she would never do and then tells me I never told her things that I know I did. She sits or stands in the way. She does not help in any way. Thing is, it has only been a few years since she complained about her mother doing the exact same thing. Patience. Maybe that will become my mantra. I think tonight I may have just gone crazy.
Anyway, thanks for listening. I really do appreciate being able to rant. It does help.
If I could have stood next to you, we could have screamed together. My elderly parent was due to spend a small part of today with me and my family, and most of all my Marine son who is home. Of course the evil guardian said NO....too stressful, too this too that and did not allow my parent to come. Funny thing is my elderly parent called son and told him to pick them up at 6pm. My elderly parent was going to SNEAK out, LOL. Son said he could not assist in the sneaking out and had to do what the guardian ordered. SO YES I WANTED TO SCREAM at the insanity of holding someone back for no reason. So stupid.
Alabama, I have an evil guardian in my life too. I call her the Warden.
Bradywine, that is great! Think I'll use that as a "slip" in court against evil sib this week, LOL. That is great!
Brandywine & Alabama & everyone else, thanks for the back-up. Today has been much, much better.
Happy New Year Everyone. Ya, I could scream right now too. My 89 yrs old mother is in the first stages of dementia. Somedays shes ok, but somedays I can't handle her with respect. She only takes a shower once a week, usually Fridays so she will be clean for church on Sunday, but it's Wed. and she smells and her hair is dripping grease. She won't cut it and it's kinda long and falling out. She looks like an old bag lady. She doesn't wash with much soap if any and is always blowing her nose and usng the same kleenex over and over. So I don't let her touch the clean dishes or food. She use to be a clean lady. She makes her bed and can dress herself in the same clothes though. She can shower, but won't use much soap and can't reach the netherland regin and won't let me. She won't let anyone in right now, but I might have to in the near future. She also gets faint in church, so might have to stop taking her. One time she passed out completely for a couple minutes. I didn't know what to do. She came too and wanted to stay. Didn't call an ambulance, but the next day I did take her to the doctor. She was very low on salt of all things. Her blood pressure was way down too. She's lived with my husband and me for 2 ys now and it's harder and harder everyday. I want to scream. Instead I go take a drive or go to my room. And how was your day?
I know how hard it is..but please try and remember it's the disease. She is losing the capabilities of normal day life. Her brain is slowly what's happening to her and what she is doing is not her fault. With dementia they will have outbursts, forgetfulness, delusions, and the shower thing is out of fear. My mother didn't shower only cleaned up with clothes for months until she came to live with me. Plus when they have dementia the body temperature is colder than normal. And if she is like my mom she might have Lewy Body dementia and they will faint often, fall often and shuffle their feet when they walk. Sometimes they will lean prominently to one side. It's a frustrating disease but, please just take a step back when you get frustrated with's better not to argue or react. It's so much easier if you learn all you can about the disease. It is so worth finding out the right mix of treatment and care. Good luck and God Bless.

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