Much like many other folks on here my brother and I deal with our sister who does next to nothing for our 78 year old Mom with sever dementia. This sister calls Mom two or three times a week and harasses, belittles, and humiliates Mom when Mom can't answer questions such as what she ate, did she take her pills, who has she talked to ect..
My brother lives with Mom and does the Lion's share of the work, I go over everyday to give his some help, support and relief. We have both been frustrated with our sister upsetting Mom with her questions and then anger about the fact Mom can't answer.
So after many arguments with said sister about calling one of us and just talking to Mom about things in general... my brilliant brother bought a small-medium size white board and propped it up on a chair near Moms seat on the sofa.
It lists today's date, Mom's weight, AM and PM pills taken, food eaten, if a shower was given, lists folks Mom has talked to, upcoming appointments, bills paid and any other important information.
When sister calls now she asks Mom to look at the board and tell her about her day. Although my brother and I are still fairly resentful of how little she does (her excuse is that Mom was her best friend for 45 years and now "she isn't there anymore") whatever she isn't there anymore for me either but I have a relationship with who she is now.
Didn't mean to start venting just wanted to pass along a tip.