Thrilled and terrified.

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Those of you who have read my posts know that I am taking my husband out of assisted living (AL) for home care. The decision was not made lightly. I worked with a team of professionals over two months to make this transition happen. On doctor's order, my husband must participate in the adult day care program and I must hire a night care giver. The decision was also made based on financial reasons and serious errors at the AL. I am thrilled that he is coming home, but I am also terrified. I don't know how long he will comply with the doctor's order. What would I do if my husband refused to go to the adult day care program? So many unknowns.


You sound like you believe the doctors orders have the force of law. They do not. No one will arrest you if he doesn't go.

If you cannot get him to go, then look for another way to convince him that he wants to go. If he really will not go, consider a different daytime activity for him then.

My Mom hated the daycare. It was boring. The other seniors just sat around doing nothing or sleeping. It was a waste of money. All it ever really did was give me a break during the day. Taking Mom to the library for their special presentations was a better choice. The local hospital had a once weekly program on coping with the after effects of a stroke...they did something new every session. See if the hospital's in your area have support groups for seniors.

The whole point is to keep him active and give you a break.

Worried, consider activities at your local senior center, if it's a good one. He'll get more stimulation, be around more people, some of whom might be more active than those at a day center.

My father's community has an exemplary senior center, a role model in my opinion for other communities. If you want more information, let me know and I'll PM you a link to check out their website and about a 20 page newsletter they publish.
yes, please send me any info you have on the senior center. Thank you!
Just sent; check your PMs.
Hoping all goes well for you and your husband.

It has been my experience that things run smoothly for quite some time with cooperation.
When an adult with cognitive decline decides not to cooperate, there is little recourse for the caregiving spouse. The Caregiver becomes the bad guy and is often judged even by family.
You are making some good plans. Be sure to plan for help during the downtimes.

Best to you. It doesn't take worry to get this job done. It takes consistency, a good plan, and some help and support.
Oh, and it takes the love you already have!

Glad you are reaching out!
Very good points, Sendhelp. Thank you.

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