I thought I was going thru the "change of life", turns out I have depression.
I moved to another state to take care of my dad back in 2006. At the time he had just had brain surgery to implant a DBS to control his Essential Tremors. He had a rough year that year, he got divorced and his secretary quit him. So I moved here to be his office manager, and help him out at home.
Fast forward to present day, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's sometime in 2010. Now he doesn't get out of the house and sits in his recliner all day watching old westerns on t.v. at maximum volume. He can barely transfer himself from one spot to the next, he wears depends and only gets up to go to the bathroom after he has soaked himself.
I have a couple of ladies that sit with him during the day while I am at work, but, nights and weekends are all on me. I have siblings, but they live in another state. My brother comes down twice a year so I can get away for the weekend.
My dad won't eat hardly anything that I cook for him, he tells me it tastes bad. So, I have to get take out every night for him. Now he has decided he is tired of that, but won't tell me what he will eat so I can get it at the store. He says don't buy anything, I don't want nothing to eat. Which most of the time is true, except when he has been drinking. He does that more and more these days. Then he will eat you out of house and home. And end up on the floor. His daytime caregivers buy it for him, and I know they do. I would tell them not to, but it is easier just to let him drink. Peace at any cost.
I pulled a muscle in my shoulder a year and a half ago getting him off the floor of the bathroom. It still hurts, he fell 3 times this weekend.
I am about to my wits end. I feel guilty because I don't think I am going to be able to do this much longer, emotionally or physically.
So now, I am not only on pain killers and muscle relaxers, but I am also on anti depressants.