Being a third wheel in a Mother, daughter situation.

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Since Dec.19 the person who I've been sharing a house with for 16 yrs. has had her 84 yr old mother come here to live.She was formerly living unassisted at a senior housing complex. She was evicted from elderly housing for being a trouble maker. Always having to fight with someone. Who ever gets kicked out of senior housing. She finally crossed the wrong person.The head of maintenance. She could never keep her mouth shut and out of people's business. She bad mouthed his wife and and was mad when he didn't want anything else to do with her. She was always jealous when he did something for someone else or gave them something. So to try and get him back Miss spiteful told him she saw him do something that could possibly cause him to lose his job.Since she pissed off just about everyone in the place he and others reported her to management. Now she is here still loving to fight, and her daughter does everything for her plus work 4 days a wk.Needless to say we have had dust ups over the years.Her daughter most times makes excuses for her bad behavior.There is no privacy to talk even on the phone.She has bionic hearing and basically not much wrong health wise.I'm 66 her daughter is 54.Also I have to be here when she works at 3 to midnight.I have so much resentment,anxiety etc. All of you know how this goes. It seems I'm not handling this well and It put me in the hospital for 3 days.Passed out on the deck,taken to the hospital with a bleeding colon,low blood pressure, hypothermia,anxiety.Is there anyone else in this type of situation?There is just so much invested here as most yard work, gardening,repairs have been done by me.I love my plants and birds.


Has your roomate's mom ever been examined by a geriatric psychiatrist? She sounds mentally ill.
She must be removed from both of you immediately, the woman is possessed. NOW ASAP you get her to a psychiatric inpatient evaluation. They need a 72 hour eval and then a drug regimen. Do NOT bring her back to your home. EVER. If they can control her with meds, she will need Assisted Living where they make sure she stays medicated and cooperative. If they can't fix her, sorry she goes to a locked facility. No other way.
Do the two of you own the house together?

Are the two of you in a committed relationship as well as being housemates?

Sorry to be so nosy, but these answers probably factor into the available options.

At the very least, no matter who owns the house and what your relationship is, refuse to be the granny sitter when her daughter works. If the mother truly cannot be alone, she needs to be in a care center with 24 hour staff, or her daughter needs to provide a paid caregiver for those hours.
From what you write, you don't own the house. Are you renting some space from the daughter? If she plans to let her mother continue to live there, it may be best to look for another place. There are birds to be fed and plants to be seen anywhere you might go. If you are in a relationship with the daughter, you need to figure out what to do together. It seems to be a "her or me" situation. If the daughter chooses her mother, then you may want to start looking for a new home. The present one will have become unbearable, even with the birds and plants.
Thank you all for the help.The house is owned by her and her mother.Not many options as her daughter cannot afford any paid help.Her mother makes more than the both of us thanks to a good pension from her deceased husband.She pays a third of bills.She is also tightfisted.She has never really had a mental evaluation,but her daughter says she is going to speak to her Dr. about that.Yes I have been paying half the bills plus doing 99% of the upkeep of the yard and household repairs.Most paid for by myself. She paid the house ins. but never offered any $ for what was spent on materials.Her thought were you two live there you pay.The only option for me would be senior housing.No gardening or grilling.Things I enjoy.Not many places around here.I can't afford to live alone either.She can really live alone but her daughter didn't try for other places because she heard stories about some of the people in them.Now she is enjoying being cooked for and waited on.

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