Things I have learned.

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In the six years I've been doing this I've learned some things that A) I never dreamed I would need to, B) if given a choice I'd probably prefer NOT to, and C) won't likely ever list on on a resume.

-The phrase "patience of a saint" is an absolute truism, and I am NO Mother Teresa.
- adult diapers are WAY different than baby ones
- what a drug "tier" is
- a mess in a bucket is always preferable to a mess...well, ANYWHERE else
- to ALWAYS check pockets, sleeves, the insides of pillowcases, underwear, etc before starting a load of wash
- to ALWAYS check random clumps of tissues/napkins/paper towel for hidden objects (ie dentures) before tossing them in the trash
- that the word "SLOW" is an insufficient term
- how to interpret "dementia speak"... Eg. "Get me (mmfbbr..unintelligible) hose" = "I'd like a straw in my soda."

Oh I could go on, but now I have to go get MIL some lunch.....which brings up another one...
- there is no such thing as "free time"


In 30 years I have learned so many ways to help adult children like yourself. Please read my amazon ebook "Bold Actions for Helping Older Parents". Good luck!
you sound like youve been thru it yaya, bless you .. i only dealt with pathologically lying f - tards , never really bean in the trenches like yourself ..
lol , my aunt hasnt seen me in days and shes out of meds . wrong on both counts. this is humorous , what your doing is not ..
Cap - don't sell yourself short. The caring you gave your mom was no walk in the park, and your aunt is so very lucky to have you looking out for her welfare.
Finding the humor in it all is what keeps me going. That and the sense of power I get every time I tug on a pair of vinyl gloves.
Cap'n she may be out of meds and she may have hidden them someplace for safe keeping. Check the underwear drawer, the old ice box, the usual places.
The things that I have learned and never cared for when growing up was -changing my nieces/nephews pampers. When I babysat, I insisted the parents change their pampers before dropping them off. I Did Not Do Pampers. Then, mom was diagnosed with dementia. But changing her pampers weren't so bad. Mom was Finicky. She waited until the pampers was off before she would pee and poop. Dad was a totally different story. He Digs into his pamper, Touches inside, and spread the "dirt" all over his stomach, his back and all over the bedding. I swear, I thought it was Karma coming after me 20-fold for all the hard times I gave the parents of those I was babysitting. I wish I Never ever have to deal with this again. (Most likely it will happen again as he progresses.) Not something that I can put in my resume that I already wanted to run away even before seeing the mess - just by going on what I can Smell! FYI, I took the coward's way out. I cut his shirt/pants and threw it away. I just coudn't figure out how to remove his shirt without the poop getting all over his head/hair. That was my crash course on the reality of poop touching/smearing stage.
Book - I hear you! And your post brings up two more on my list....
- no matter how bad things seem, there is someone else "out there" going through worse
- no matter how bad things seem, they're probably going to get worse
Yaya, you mentioned vinyl gloves. I've learned the importance of finding the right gloves - and vinyl is NOT one of it. When cleaning poop, that gloves just slides right on by - and makes the situation worse. Try holding a wet wipes and swiping. The vinyl gloves just slips right off the wipes, and you end up swiping the poop with your vinyled gloved hand. Nope. Latex gloves does the job best!
So - the conclusion - what works best for some, may not work best for you.

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